Apples of Gold
Radio Script for July 31, 2008
“What Should I Look For in a Spouse?”
Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.
“What is the most important thing I should look for in a spouse?”
The question was kind of abrupt, and I answered off the top of my head.
“Faithfulness,” I said. “Look for faithfulness. It doesn’t matter how wonderful someone is, if they are not faithful, your life will be a wreck.”
So what exactly is faithful? I think someone is faithful if, first of all, they consistently love you. First Corinthians 13 says love is not self seeking. Instead of always looking out for themselves, a faithful person looks out for you.
Second of all, someone is faithful if their character is consistent. They aren’t one way today and another way tomorrow.
The perfect example of faithfulness is God. Over and over the Bible describes God as faithful.
Second Thessalonians 3:3 says, “…the Lord is faithful…”
Lamentations 3:23 says, “…great is Thy faithfulness…”
Isaiah 25:1 talks about His perfect faithfulness.
Psalm 33:4 says the Lord is faithful in all He does.
Psalm 108:4 says His faithfulness “reaches to the skies.”
And Psalm 146:6 says the Lord remains faithful forever.
What does it mean that the Lord is faithful?
To me that means He is looking out for our best interest, and His character is consistent.
God doesn’t change. In Malachi 3:6 He declared, “…I am the Lord, I change not…”
Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
So when you are looking for faithfulness in a spouse, watch to see if their character is consistent. If they operate by situational ethics, look out. If they change their behavior based upon who is watching, look out. This is not a faithful person.
And when you are looking for faithfulness in a spouse, watch to see if they consistently look out for your best interest – or are they just in it for themselves? If they spend all their time looking out for number one and don’t seem to care much about looking out for you – look out. This is not a faithful person.
Why is faithfulness so important?
Because you must marry someone you trust. If you don’t trust them, to marry them is to pour yourself a heaping bowl of agony.
It won’t matter how good they look or how much money they have. It won’t matter how smart they are or fun or successful. If you can’t trust them, you will wake up every day to the feeling of maggots in your gut.
Sound extreme? Talk to a few people who don’t trust their spouse. It’s misery.
That’s why it is so crucial to find this out before you get married. Can you trust them? Are they faithful? If they aren’t faithful before marriage, that little ceremony is not going to change them.
This thing of faithfulness goes beyond marriage. It’s something to look for in your friends as well, even business partners.
Listen to what King David wrote in Psalm 101. “My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me…”
Who was going to get close to the king? Faithful people. People who had his best interest at heart. People whose character was consistent.
You have to look beyond someone’s words. Proverbs 20 verse 6 says, “Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?”
Now let me ask this. Are you a faithful person? Do you truly care about the interests of others, or are you looking out for number one? And is your character consistent, no matter who is watching?
The good news is, if you are a Christian, and you let the Holy Spirit work in you, then you will have the fruit of the Spirit which includes faithfulness.*
Like I said, this all goes back to the person who asked me one day, “What is the most important thing I should look for in a spouse.”
My answer came off the top of my head, but the more I think about it, the more I see the truth in it. One primary quality you absolutely must have in a spouse is this: faithfulness.
E-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
* Galatians 5:22
© 2008 The Arrow’s Tip
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)
Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.
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