I’m Doug Apple...and my heart is on fire. (Luke 24:32)
“I’ve spent a good portion of my life disappointed with God.”
That’s what he said, and it got me thinking.
Am I disappointed with God? Have I been disappointed with God? Was I ever disappointed with God?
I can’t think of a time when I was ever disappointed with God.
Oh sure, there have been a thousand times when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go, but that didn’t make me disappointed with God.
Why not?
I guess it is because I always just figured that if things didn’t go the way I expected, it’s because I didn’t really know how things are supposed to work.
For example, there was the time as a baby Christian when I concluded that I didn’t have to lock up my bicycle anymore because God was going to protect me from theft. Then I came home one day and found that my bicycle was gone! Of course, I was disappointed, but I wasn’t disappointed with God. I was just disappointed with the situation. I thought things worked in a way that they actually don’t work. I just recalibrated my thinking and moved forward in my walk with God.
A more serious example is when I was a Christian radio DJ, on the air daily, playing Christian music and ministry live on the radio, taking requests, talking to people, encouraging people in the faith, etc. I also had a wife at home, and an increasing number of mouths to feed. And being a little Christian radio DJ is not a great way to provide for a big family.
There’s an old joke in the radio industry: what do a DJ and a large pizza have in common? They can aaaaaaalmost feed a family of four.
I was praying things like, “God, I believe You have called me to this radio station, and yet I’m not making enough money. I thought You were going to provide for my needs as I do Your will.” Meanwhile, the owner of the station wanted me to get into advertising sales to help support both the station and myself. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to focus on the on-air ministry as a live DJ.
Yes, that led to some frustrating days where I was expecting God to provide more money, meanwhile I was turning down my boss’s encouragement to get into sales. Then I finally realized, “Well, I guess this isn’t how this is going to work. God isn’t going to suddenly drop in money from heaven. But meanwhile, I do have this opportunity.” So in the summer of 1992, with our fourth child on the way, I went off the air as a live DJ and began working in sales. And that turned out to be a positive change in every way, for that whole ministry as well as for my family.
Disappointment with God never took root in me. I just figured, hey, that’s not how this works. Let’s move on. And I would say, yes, God provided. I saw it over and over. But He provided through open doors and opportunities that came our way over and over and over again, thank You, God!
Have you ever been learning something new, and it was frustrating, and at times you wanted to quit?
I remember when I was first learning graphic design, using a computer program called CorelDraw. I didn’t go to school for this. I was already raising my own family, but the opportunity came. I suddenly found myself editing a small newspaper, and I didn’t know what I was doing!
I was sitting at Kinko’s in Carbondale, Illinois late one night, because they had a computer with CorelDraw on it, and I had to get this newspaper edited before the deadline. There was a certain ad that I needed to change, but I couldn’t change it. Every time I clicked it, the whole thing highlighted and moved, but I couldn’t click just the text to change it.
I was going out of my mind! It was late at night. There was no Google to ask. The Kinko’s worker didn’t know anything about it. Back then you couldn’t even right click for a context menu. Plus I was so tired by then.
Finally. FINALLY I realized that the text inside the ad had been GROUPED TOGETHER. I had never heard of things being grouped together. I didn’t know you could group things together.
Did I become disappointed with the CorelDraw corporation? No. I was just frustrated because I didn’t know how it was supposed to work.
And I think that is how people end up feeling disappointed with God. It’s not that God is disappointing. It’s that we don’t know how it’s supposed to work, so we burden our relationship with God with all these expectations, and then when our expectations aren’t met, we feel disappointed with God. Some people walk away from God altogether for this.
What if I would have walked away from graphic design just because I didn’t know about grouping? That would have been dumb, right?
When things don’t work the way we expect, we don’t quit. We figure out how they are supposed to work!
The same is true in our walk with God. Of course it’s hard to figure out.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Romans 11:33 says, “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!”
In Job 11 it says, “Can you search out the deep things of God? Can you find out the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than heaven…their measure is longer than the earth and broader than the sea.”
Psalm 147 says God’s understanding is infinite!
If we don’t even know how everything works in our favorite computer app, what makes us think we understand the workings of the infinite God?
There’s no room for disappointment. We don’t get disappointed. We just realize, “Hey, I guess that’s not how this thing works. God, please teach me and show me and lead me. Your ways are higher than my ways, so I put my faith and hope and trust in You. Please help me to hear and to follow You every step of the way for the rest of my days…in Jesus’ name…”
Amen.
May God bless you today.
I’m Doug Apple.
