Apples of Gold
Radio Script for May 13, 2008
“Is It Wrong to Date a Non-Christian?”
Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.
Is it wrong to date a non-Christian?
Here is what one person wrote: “Date? No I don’t think it’s wrong, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your morality. But marriage is another matter.”
Wait a minute. Since when are dating and marriage separate matters? This person is looking at just one little piece of the road. But what about the rest of the road?
Have you ever been on I-4 in Orlando? If all you know about I-4 is what you see in Orlando, you’ll think it’s a north-south road. But aha! Yes, it’s north-south through Orlando, but it’s actually an east-west road.
See, there is a lot more to the road than what you see in Orlando. And there is a lot more to dating a non-Christian.
So do I think it’s wrong to date a non-Christian? Here is my advice. If God is important to you, if you love Jesus and want to serve Him, if you want to be a living sacrifice, and glorify the Lord with all your being, then when it comes to dating, don’t even take a second look at a non-Christian, or even a lukewarm Christian.
The great thing about being my age is that I’ve lived long enough to see where the roads of life lead. And here is what usually happens.
The Christian is attracted to the non-Christian. It’s a physical thing. “They are just so cute!”
Now follow the timeline.
Instead of ruling out the non-Christian as “undateable,” they toy with the idea. Then the moment comes when they find out the other person is attracted to them. The fire is lit. It was lit before the first date. The moment two people are mutually attracted, the flame ignites.
They begin talking and spending time together. Everyone is on their best behavior. No one rocks the boat because it’s just so wonderful.
But that non-Christian is on an east-west road, and you are on a north-south road. Yes, the roads have intersected for a time, but what happens as you move down the road, down the timeline? You will want to pull north, and they will want to pull east.
At this point there are three options. One of you can completely change directions and join the other, but that rarely happens. Or you can split up and go your separate ways, but that’s hard to do when you’re so attracted. Or what usually happens is this – compromise. On the best days, they will go to church with you and support you in your religious stuff. And they want you to support them in whatever their goals are.
But your goals aren’t the same. How could they be? You are going different directions. You love the Lord, and they aren’t that interested. Your passion is for the Kingdom of God, and their passion is…whatever, something in this world, something other than the Lord.
Now follow the timeline. The next thing you know, you have children. How are you going to raise them? Do you want them to be fired up for God and love the Lord? Don’t you wish your spouse would help with this, maybe even lead the way?
But they won’t. They might even pull against you. They don’t share your faith, at least not to that level. And again, there will be more compromising.
What do you allow into your home? Who will influence the children? What kind of friends will you hang around with – people who build your faith, or not? On and on the timeline goes.
To be unequally yoked is to throw a giant wet blanket on your spiritual fire. You want to pull north with all your might, but you are yoked to someone pulling east. And this will happen year after year, decade after decade, on and on and on.
That’s the timeline. When you think about whom you are going to date, you have to look at the timeline. You have to realize that each decision leads to something further down. There are no isolated chunks of timeline, they are all connected. One piece leads right into the next.
The dating piece of the timeline leads right into the marriage piece of the timeline. So, if you say you shouldn’t marry a non-believer, then you must realize you cannot date a non-believer. And if you cannot date a non-believer, then you must realize you cannot even let yourself become attracted to a non-believer.
“But Doug, I can’t control who I’m attracted to. It just happens. They just walk in and ‘Wow!’”
Walk in where? See, that is one way to control the kind of person you are attracted to. If you are in a place for fired-up Christians, then the person who walks in is at least more likely to share your faith.
But yes, I understand the wow factor. It’s potent, no doubt. The wow factor almost ruined the great King David.
So what can you do with the wow factor? Just what I’ve said. Look down the timeline. Take a realistic look at what the future holds if you spend your life with that person.
If you are young, it’s hard for you to look down the timeline because you’ve never been there. So ask a wise, older person for their advice. They’ve seen where the roads of life lead.
And, of course, pray about it. The Lord will guide you. You will be asking for His blessings on your family for the rest of your life, so it’s best to start now, before you take that next step down the timeline.
Comments?
E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
© 2008 The Arrow’s Tip
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)
Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.
Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL 32315
(850) 926-8000
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