Apples of Gold
Radio Script for October 17, 2008
“Why Are You Down On Shacking Up?”
Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.
“Doug, why are you down on shacking up?”
“Shacking up” is slang for living with someone like you’re married, but you’re not.
And by “living like you’re married” I’m focusing on the physical intimacy part.
Now I don’t blame people for wanting to be together. In Genesis 2:18 God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 1:27 says that God created us male and female. We were designed for each other, by God.
And now look at what else the Designer said, in Genesis 2:24. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Jesus reaffirmed this in Matthew 19, “…and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Paul reaffirmed the same thing in Ephesians 5:31, so this is well established. One man and one woman are united together and become one flesh. No longer two, but one. And Jesus said that God joins in. That uniting of the two into one is actually done by God Himself. And Jesus concludes by saying, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
This is a key difference between shacking up and really being married. When two people are married, they have a commitment to stay together and be there for each other until one of them dies.
But when two people are living together as if they are married, but they aren’t, the big difference is their refusal to actually unite, to become one, to be fused together until death.
“But Doug, we just aren’t ready for that yet. Why can’t we enjoy what we have without making that lifelong commitment?”
The problem is not your friendship or your mutual support. The problem is the physical intimacy. Until you are married, it is wrong and a sin before God.
The Bible repeatedly condemns sexual immorality. For example, First Corinthians 6:9 says that the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. Verse 18 adds that we should actually flee from sexual immorality.
Galatians 5:19 says, “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious…” and puts sexual immorality at the top of the list.
Hebrews 13:4 says “God will judge…all the sexually immoral.”
“Alright Doug, that’s fine. Don’t be sexually immoral. But that’s pretty broad. What exactly does that mean?”
Okay, for example let’s go back to First Corinthians 6:18. It uses the broad term “sexual immorality” because it covers a variety of things. The word used in the original Greek is “porneia” which includes, among other things, fornication.
So what is fornication? Basically it is sex between unmarried people.
So there, I didn’t want to have to describe it to the nth degree, but there it is.
If you are shacking up, if you are living together as if you are married, but you aren’t, and that includes that aspect of physical intimacy, then you are committing the specific sin of fornication.
“But Doug, we are so in love. And we want to express that love to each other.”
Well here is some advice for you from First Corinthians 7:9. If you can’t control yourself, then get married, “for it is better to marry than to burn with passion,” it says.
Yes, we live in a sexed-up culture, but that’s nothing new. In fact, it’s a good reason to get married. First Corinthians 7:2 says, “…since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”
It goes on to say, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other…”
See, God designed men and woman for one another. It is a blessed gift from the Creator, but it is only blessed when we do it His way. And His way is that one man and one woman are joined together by Him for life, and do not separate. In other words, you enter into a marriage covenant. You get married. Then you can freely express your love for one another physically.
God our Father has put up safe boundaries for us to operate within. Everything outside these boundaries He calls sin, and we know that sin brings death, it brings a curse, it brings God’s judgment.
If you are shacking up, if you are sleeping together and aren’t married, then you are committing the sin of fornication. Instead of showing love for one another, you are actually, in effect, cursing one another, and bringing down God’s judgment.
I know the movies and books make it look good; live together, sleep together, and live happily ever after. But that’s not the way it works. Anything outside of God’s plan is not a good plan. If a couple isn’t completely committed to one another, then disaster is coming, hurt and pain and sorrow.
And if a couple is completely committed to one another, then I have two words for you.
Get married.
Comments?
E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
“But Doug, what if we live together but don’t sleep together?”
That has two problems. First, you put yourself directly in the path of temptation.
“But Doug, we don’t even see each other in that way, not at all.”
Which brings up the second problem, the appearance of evil, which the Bible says to avoid.
“But we aren’t doing anything wrong. How should I know what it looks like?”
If people walking down your street point to your house and say, “Do you think they’re doing it?” “Oh yeh, they’re doing it.” Then it has the appearance of evil.
© 2008 The Arrow’s Tip
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)
Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.
Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL 32315
(850) 926-8000
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