The Look in the Eyes of My Children - Apples of Gold - December 23, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.   

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 23, 2009

“The Look in the Eyes of My Children”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Back in the days before iPods and .mp3’s and even CD players, way back a long time ago we had . . . cassettes.

So being a radio guy, I used to make a special cassette tape for Christmas each year and give it to family and friends.  It included some holiday highlights, some of the best Christian songs from that year, and my favorite part was little snippets of our kids. 

We have four children, and I would gather them around the microphone and turn them loose, singing songs, telling stories, reciting pieces from school plays, etc. 

But then they started growing up and somewhere in the 90’s I quit making cassettes for Christmas.

Well the other day I came across some of those old tapes and decided to give them a listen.  And there were the kids, as goofy as ever.  And then it hit me.  Why not make another recording?

So last night we got them all together again, and I loved it because the room was full of joy and laughter, just like when they were little.

And now listen to this.  I am so thankful to God that there was no elephant in the room.

What do I mean by that?

Well, to be blunt, I’m glad my wife and I are still together.  I’m glad there was no divorce or separation or even a big fight. 

Let me spell it out even more.  I’m glad we somehow had sense enough to keep our marriage strong, which provided an incredible foundation for our children.  That way, when we got together last night, there was no elephant in the room.  The kids could share the same joy and silliness that they had years ago without any little edge like, “Gee, it’s too bad Mom isn’t here,” or “This would have been so much better, Dad, if you hadn’t wrecked the family.”

I know that sounds bad, but my goodness, I have seen it happen to so many other families, and it just seems to take the twinkle out of the kids’ eyes.  When parents do dumb things, it sucks some of the joy out of the children.

So why didn’t we do that?  Am I saying we are somehow better or smarter?

Not at all, but I do have a reason, and it really ties into Christmas.

John 1:9 gives us a look at Christmas from a different angle.  It says, “The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.”

Jesus is the true light, and Christmas is the time we remember the true light coming into the world.

And He came to give light to every man.  And His light is a life-giving light, like the sun.  His light not only brings light, but life. 

So when my wife and I became Christians, when we bowed to the lordship of Christ, His light came into our lives.  His light brought life into our lives. 

By their own selfish desires, so many parents have plagued their families.  How did we avoid that plague?  Well here’s what I think.

I think it’s the light of Jesus Christ.  And I think His light helps us see the longer run, the bigger picture.  His light literally helps us see beyond the desires of the flesh.  It helps us see beyond instant gratification.

And now we are enjoying the fruits of it.  Just seeing our children in that recording session last night brought me such a deep joy.  And it’s a joy that is not like some momentary happiness, it’s a deep satisfaction.

It’s the difference between giving in to the flesh to make myself happy, versus following the Lord and receiving something almost incomprehensible from Him.

I say incomprehensible because I don’t understand it.  It kind of sneaks up on you.  You deny yourself certain options, certain choices that other people are making.  You do it, kind of out of blind faith, just because God said to.  And then it dawns on you, “Wow, there are great rewards for doing things God’s way.”

And to me, it all comes back to that true light coming into the world.  Jesus gave me light enough to see beyond my own selfish desires and my own flesh.  His light revealed how things could be, how things should be, and that’s the path I took.

And I received a reward for it last night.  It wasn’t in cash.  It wasn’t in fame or recognition. 

It was simply the look in the eyes of my children, the look that comes when there is no elephant in the room.

So this Christmas I am thanking God for what took place in a manger in Bethlehem, because it was not just the birth of a baby.   

It was the true light, that gives light to every man, coming into the world. 

And it was that light that let me see beyond my own flesh to what was best for my family – thank you, Lord!


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.

(close with little clip of kids from Christmas cassette 1995)


After reading you may ask, “But what about me, Doug?  I’ve already been that plague you described.  I’ve made some serious mistakes, and I see the effect on my children.  Now what?”  Well you can’t change the past, but you can still surrender it all to Jesus.  You can still do things God’s way from here on out.  Repent of any unrepented sins and turn it all over to God.  Then walk in His light, that same true light I was talking about.  His light will help you see beyond any plague, beyond any depression or wallowing in guilt or self pity.  His light will brighten things up!  And as your life brightens, you, in turn, will be able to brighten the lives of all around you, including your own children.  God is in the restoring business, and He is well able to make up for any mistakes we made in the past.  It all comes down to this – Jesus and His true light coming into our lives.

© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

God Said Subdue the Earth - Apples of Gold - December 22, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.   

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 22, 2009

“God Said Subdue the Earth”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

He was talking about the 1930’s.

We were driving along in his old pickup truck on a cold winter’s day.

We topped a hill and the view was fantastic.  Everything was covered with snow, the sun was brilliant, and you could see for miles.

Down in the valley was a small city.  He said, “It didn’t look like this when I was growing up.”

“What’s different?” I said.

“Well in the winter the sky would be black from all the coal burning.  That’s how people kept warm, by burning coal.”

It was hard to imagine on such a clear, beautiful day.  And if the sky was black from coal burning, just think of the soot and ash that would be all over everything.  And everybody.

I was so glad that we had found better ways to stay warm.

I say “we,” but I had nothing to do with it.  Someone found better ways, and I guess people will continue to find better ways.

And you know what?  I think we are called by God to do so.

Think of Florida a hundred years ago.  It wasn’t such a popular place to live because it was so hot.  But after World War II, as air conditioning became more ubiquitous, the population grew from about 20^th in the nation to fourth.

I’m glad we found a good way to stay cool.

Lately I’ve heard about several babies who were born with health issues, but the doctors were able to do surgery and fix whatever was wrong.

You know, back in the day those kids would have just died.  The infant mortality rate was much higher.  And the mortality rate of mothers giving birth was higher.  How many times, as I read about history, have I read about someone’s wife dying in childbirth?  Now, in all my life, I have not personally known any woman who died from giving birth.

The difference is that we know more.  We have discovered better ways, and I think that’s what God has called us to do.

I’m getting that from Genesis 1:28.  God made Adam and Eve, blessed them, then said this to them.  “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it…”

Subdue the earth.  That’s what God wants us to do. 

I look at it like this.  God created this planet full of ingredients; full of plants and animals and land and water.  But it’s wild.  It’s unruly, and that’s where we come in.  We are to subdue the earth, to get it under control, to manage it.

I feel so blessed to live in a land that enjoys years of subduing.  I’m sitting in a structure made of modern building materials, well insulated from all kinds of weather.  I got here on nice roads with beautiful landscaping inside the incredible invention of the automobile. 

Clothing is plentiful and colorful and cheap.  Food is abundant. 

And all this comes back to subduing the earth.  Instead of letting it remain in its wild, unruly state, we are to subdue it.

Now subdue doesn’t mean destroy or pollute.  It means get it under control, take the disorderly and make it orderly.

Take water, for example.  In Tallahassee we have clean water for hundreds of thousands of people.  That sure didn’t happen by all of us gathering around a creek and scooping out water.  It happened by us taking the wild, natural water supplies and subduing them, getting them under control.

That may not sound like a Godly thing, but I think it is.  It goes back to that original mandate from God to subdue the earth.

I recently read about new breakthroughs in battery technology.  They are coming up with ways to make batteries more powerful and last a lot longer.  And get this.  They’re making them out of paper.  A special paper, of course, lined with carbon nanotubes, whatever those are.  But just think of the possibilities if you can make a battery the size and thickness of a postage stamp. 

And there are millions of new things to be thought of, a million new ways to subdue the earth.

For some reason, subduing the earth sounds bad, like plundering the earth or treating it like a slave to be beaten and left for dead.

That’s not it at all.  God has called us to subdue the earth, which means to manage it and get it under control – for the good of everyone.  And for the glory of God.

So yes, we are called to subdue the earth, and we will do that, more and more.

So now the question is this.  What role will you play in following God’s mandate to subdue the earth?


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.



© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

How to Get More People Working at Church - Apples of Gold - December 21, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.   

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 21, 2009

“How to Get More People Working at Church”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

As a media guy, I’ve met a lot of technical people over the years, and it’s always interesting to hear about their jobs.

For example, one guy sets up those cameras that dangle over the field at football games.  Did you know that they hang from super long cables that string all the way up to the four corners of the stadium?  And they have to put them up and take them down for each game.

Another guy told me about his job, which was simply to keep track of the cable for a TV cameraman who roamed the sideline.  When you see sideline shots, you probably don’t even think about the cameraman, let alone his cable guy.  And yet that’s his one job.  Get out there and keep that cable straight.

But somebody has to do it.  I’ve been a roving cameraman, and if you have to keep your own cable straight you won’t be nearly as affective.  You get fewer shots because you have to spend part of your time messing with the cable.

Getting a football game on TV is a massive undertaking.  It’s a wonder it happens at all, but here’s the key – each task must be assigned to someone.

And that means someone has to do the assigning.  Someone has to know all the jobs that need to be done, and then assign them to someone.

So in your church, who is this person? 

This is a hugely important question, and here’s why.  I think that most churches are full of two things:  people with untapped abilities, and jobs that aren’t being done.

When I think about the pews that we fill up across America, I think of millions of people loaded with skill and ability.  Meanwhile, the church is not nearly as effective as it could be because we aren’t putting these people to work.

Oh I know it’s not easy.  You stand up in front of the church, announce that a certain job needs to be done, nobody responds, and you move on.  After all, you can’t twist arms.

Well no, you can’t twist arms, but you can be more effective.  You can get a lot more people doing things in the church.

Here’s a simple, biblical example in the Old Testament book of Nehemiah.  Nehemiah needed to get more work out of the priests and Levites, so what did he do?  Here’s what it says.  He “…assigned them duties, each to his own task.”

Now I realize our churches are volunteer organizations, and people don’t take kindly to being bossed around.  But here is my experience.  If we ask people to do a well-defined job that fits within their interests and abilities, and it isn’t too demanding, they will often agree to do it.

For example, I remember when our church started a new men’s ministry.  If you want to join, give them a call.

I didn’t call.  It was too vague and I wasn’t looking for something new to do.

So they formed the ministry, and announced they were going to be doing some workdays.  If you want to do some workdays, give them a call.  Oh, and some golf outings.

Well, I wasn’t interested in golf or in generic workdays, so I didn’t call.

But then they announced that coming up Saturday at 9 a.m. we’re going to clean up a certain yard.  If you have a weed eater or a rake, can you come out and help?

Now that I could do.  The job and the time were clearly defined.  It had a beginning and an end, so I went.

And then they did a great thing.  They took down our phone numbers.  And from then on, when they had a specific job to do, they could make personal contact.

That’s just one example of someone going from pew sitter to worker.

I’ve organized many fundraisers over the years, and people usually don’t respond when you say, “Hey, anyone out there want to help with a fundraiser?”  They won’t respond to church bulletins or newsletters and maybe not even e-mail. 

The line I always use is, “You have to hit the phones.”  You have to call people personally, make a personal appeal and get that personal commitment.

You have to make your list of tasks, and then find a worker for each task.

I used to work with a Christian concert promoter who was hyper-organized.  He had a list a mile long of every single job, then made sure someone was assigned to each task.  I ended up with a few jobs I wasn’t prone to do simply because he asked me and I knew it needed to be done.

Doing the Lord’s work is a massive undertaking.  There are so many things that need to be done, but I believe there are plenty of people to do them – we just have to organize them. 

Ephesians 4 says the church will grow as every part does its share of the work.  That’s the way the body of Christ is designed to work.

And one part of the body is the organizers, the people who know all the jobs that need to be done and then find people to do them.

So I’ll ask again.  In your church, who is this? 

Someone needs to be the Nehemiah, to see what needs to be done, and organize the people to do it.

There is so much talent out there in the pews.  And I think they are willing to do their part to help the church grow, but it takes a Nehemiah, someone who can “assign them duties, each to his own task.”


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.



© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

What If Someone Has No Interest In Jesus? - Apples of Gold - December 18, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.  (At the end you will hear an excerpt of Annie’s testimony.)

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 18, 2009

“What If Someone Has No Interest In Jesus?”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

It was back in the days of Flower Power and “peace, man” and VW vans.

And as a singer, Annie was right in the thick of it. 

She lived in Hollywood and was part of a group that was on the verge of hitting it big.

She was dating a guy named Buck, and guess what? 

Buck got saved.  He came to Christ and tried to share the good news with Annie.

But she didn’t want to have anything to do with it.  She was raised Catholic, had tried Jesus and decided there was nothing to it.  So she told Buck, “See ya later babe.”

“I didn’t want to have anything to do with Christianity whatsoever,” she said.

“And then I saw him two weeks later.  He came and knocked on my door, and his countenance was absolutely different, and I bolted back.  I said, ‘What has happened to you? Whatever has happened to you, that’s what I’m looking for.’”

And Buck told her that it was the Holy Spirit, that he had received the Holy Spirit.

“It changed him,” Annie said, “and what it did for me was, I saw it.  And the thing inside of me that was longing for the truth – there it was, on his face.”

She ended up at a meeting and they tried to lead her to Christ.  “Do you believe in Jesus?  Do you believe He died for your sins and rose again?”  “Yes,” Annie quickly replied to all their questions.  “Let’s get on with the program.  I want this Holy Spirit thing.”

Now some of you might be thinking, “Wait a minute.  That’s too much emphasis on the Holy Spirit.  We need to emphasize Jesus and His redemptive work.  She should be focused on receiving Christ. 

Well if you want to downplay receiving the Holy Spirit, then you need dig into the Word.  Get out your concordance and look up the word “receive.”  What you will find is that, of all the things we can receive, the thing you will find most in the New Testament is receiving the Holy Spirit.  Yes, it talks about receiving the Gospel and forgiveness.  It talks about receiving Jesus and mercy, and many other things.  But the thing it talks about more than all of them is receiving the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 3:14 points out that God redeemed us so that we could receive the Holy Spirit.

As Peter preached in Acts 2:38 he said, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.” 

And was that the end result?  No.  Here was the end result.  “And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

Over and over and over again we read about receiving the Holy Spirit and the work the Spirit does in our lives.

Well Annie saw what the Spirit had done in her old boyfriend’s life, and she wanted it.  Now don’t distort what I’m about to say, but she was ready to skip over all the Jesus stuff to get to the Holy Spirit.  She was hungry for the Spirit of God.

So they gathered around her and started praying for her, and what happened?  Did God wait until she got her theology all straight, until she gave Jesus a little more respect?

Well listen to what happened as they prayed.

“I was ushered into the heavenlies,” she said.  “I didn’t know anything of the Word yet, but I saw this throne, and there were these elders.  And incense, I could smell the incense.  And there were millions of people, and it was wonderful.  And then I saw Jesus, and I wanted to express my love for Him, so I reached out to Him.  And I felt every sin I’d ever committed in my whole life fall upon me.  And I thought to myself, ‘There is no way that Jesus could possibly love me.  It’s impossible.  How could this spotless, most beautiful thing in the world possibly love me?’  And so I just got up out of that chair, ran out of that room and said, ‘Forget it.  It’s impossible.’”

“And I went out into the night,” Annie said, “out into the field and cried and cried because I knew I was lost and I knew I had no hope.  But somehow or other, by the time morning came, my thought was, ‘How could He love me so much, that He would take on all of those sins?  And then I knew the Redeemer, and the power of the blood, because I had given my life to Jesus and He absolutely took every sin and changed me.”

And that’s Annie’s testimony, and now for three decades she has been singing for the Lord.  And by the way, she went on to marry that ex-boyfriend, Buck Herring.

But the thing I like about her story is how it seems kind of backwards.  Because of her background, she was not interested in Jesus.  But then she saw the literal changes in Buck’s life, which he attributed to the Holy Spirit – and that caught her interest.  “I want the Holy Spirit,” she said.

So she prayed to receive the Holy Spirit, and what happened?  She had an encounter with Jesus!  And He dealt with her sins and she received forgiveness and salvation. 

God loves us so much, and I’m always amazed by the different ways He reaches out to people right where they are.

So if you know someone who has some negative preconceived notions of Jesus or Christianity, then maybe you can encourage them to receive the Holy Spirit. 

That may not fit your idea of evangelism, but let me leave you with this teaching from Jesus in Luke 11.  “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.

I think this is a great example of drawing near to God, and He will draw near to us.  We don’t necessarily have to have all of our theological ducks in a row.  If he seriously draw near to Him, if we seriously seek Him, we will find Him.

Annie Herring’s interview was aired on Wave 94 on Jerry Bryant’s program Full Circle.

***You can listen to Annie in her own voice describe her conversion at the end of today’s audio version by clicking the link at the top.  It’s an excerpt from the interview as aired on Full Circle with Jerry Bryant.

© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

You Can't Let Sin Slide - Apples of Gold - December 16, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 16, 2009

“You Can’t Let Sin Slide”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

You can’t let sin slide.

There are different ways of dealing with it, but you cannot let it slide.

This is a message for people in a position of spiritual leadership.

I was talking to an older gentleman about a church he attended for many years.  He regaled me with tales of powerful sermons and a booming congregation. 

“He was the best preacher in the area,” he said, “maybe even in the whole state.  And he lived it.”

Well the church wasn’t booming now, so what happened?

“Oh, he preached hard against sin, but when things came up in the congregation, he didn’t deal with them.  There was even some blatant sin among leadership, but he just didn’t deal with it.  He didn’t want to confront anyone.  He let it slide and it festered.  It undermined the ministry, and the church lost its power.”

Let that be a lesson to anyone in spiritual leadership.  You can’t let sin slide.

Yesterday one of my coworkers was talking about an old relative of his who got saved from a rough background and became a preacher.  And here’s what kind of man he was.  If he saw one of his people smoking, he would walk right up and yank the cigarette out of their mouth.  He would say, “What are you doing?  Don’t you know your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost?”

That’s one way to do it.  Often the best way to deal with sin is to take quick and decisive action.

I know a man who hired a new employee.  Then he found out that the new employee was showing dirty pictures around the office, which was followed by a quick and decisive firing.

I remember walking into church one time and some teenagers were goofing around, and they were blasting some bad secular music from their boom box right there in church.  I told them to turn it off, and no one made a move.  So I went over and yanked the plug from the wall.  “Not in church,” I said.

A great biblical example of dealing decisively with sin is when Jesus drove the money changers from the temple.  In John 2 it says Jesus went to the temple courts in Jerusalem and “found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money.  So He made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.  To those who sold doves He said, ‘Get these out of here!  How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market?’”

And I like the conclusion of that episode in John 2:17.  It says, “His disciples remembered that it is written:  ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.’”

A great Old Testament example is found in Nehemiah 13.  The law said that no Ammonite could be admitted into the assembly of God, but Eliashib the priest actually provided a room in there for the Ammonite Tobiah.  It was the chamber where they stored the tithes and offerings, and the temple articles, and they moved it all out just for Tobiah.

Well Nehemiah was gone when this happened, but then he came back and found out about it, and what did he do?  In verse 8 Nehemiah said, “I was greatly displeased and threw all Tobiah’s household goods out of the room.”

That is quick and decisive action.  See you can’t let sin slide.  You have to deal with it.

But not every situation calls for sudden and explosive action.  Ezra shows us another way of dealing with “sin in the camp.”

In Ezra chapter nine, it was reported to Ezra that many leaders in Israel, including priests and Levites, were intermarrying with various local tribes who participated in evil, which was expressly forbidden. 

What did Ezra do?  Listen to what he said.  “When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled…and I sat there appalled until the evening sacrifice.”

At the sacrifice he cried out to God.  And others joined him, and they wept bitterly over the sin of the people.

So did they leap into action?  Not really, but they did put a plan into motion.  It took some time, but they dealt with the problem.  They didn’t let it slide at all, they just handled it in a more methodical manner.

In First Corinthians 5 we have an example of a church that didn’t deal with sin in their midst, and Paul rebuked them for it.  He said, “Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?”

He told them not to associate with someone who called themselves a brother in Christ, but who was “sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler.  With such a man do not even eat.”  And in verse 13 he concluded, “Expel the wicked man from among you.”

That sounds harsh, but we’re talking about an unrepentant man that calls himself a Christian and wants to be part of your church but also wants to continue to blatantly live in sin.

So do you let it slide?  No, you deal with it, head on.  You confront it.  You can be quick and decisive or circumspect and methodical, depending on the situation, but whatever you do, deal with it.

If you don’t, it won’t go away.  It will spread.  Like Paul said, it’s like yeast that works through the whole batch of dough.

So if you are in a position of spiritual leadership today, here is something you must remember.

You can’t let sin slide.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

If You Do It, You Approve It - Apples of Gold - December 15, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 15, 2009

“If You Do It, You Approve It”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

If you do it, you approve it.

That’s a really short sentence, but it sure packs a wallop, so let me say it again.

If you do it, you approve it.

Or let me say it like this.  Everything you do gives someone else permission to do it.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s good, bad or wretched.  If you do it, you are clearing a path for someone behind you to come along and do it as well.

This plays out most obviously in the parent-child relationship.  You’ve heard of the crusty old dad saying, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.”

Well if Dad drinks, he is giving his children permission to drink.  If Dad smokes, he is giving his children permission to smoke.  If Dad leaves the family, he is giving his children permission to leave their family.

And if you say one thing and do another, well you just gave your children permission to do the same.  You have approved their lack of integrity through your own lack of integrity.

If you do it, you approve it.

Here’s one way to picture it in your mind.  When I was little, I remember walking behind my dad in the woods in the snow.  He would create the footsteps, and I would walk in them.  He would choose the path, and I would follow.  He would break off branches and clear the way, making it easy for me to go that same direction.  Sure, I could have created my own path, but it’s so much easier to follow a trail someone else has blazed.

Now listen to this.  If Dad didn’t want me to go that way, then he shouldn’t have gone that way in the first place. 

This is also easy to see in the manager/employee relationship.  If the manager comes in late and leaves early, and fudges on his reports, and undermines his boss, and badmouths the company – then that is what he can expect from his employees.  He has given them permission to do all those things simply by doing them himself.

It’s easy to see with pastors and parishioners.  If the pastor does it, he clears the way for everyone else to do it.  I remember a girl telling me about a priest who drank and cussed like a sailor.  By doing so he gave all his people permission to do the same.

This is obvious with teachers and their students, and all forms of leadership.  People in leadership clear extra wide paths for others, whether good or bad. 

But you don’t have to be in leadership to affect people.  This is true for all of us. 

If you do it, you approve it.

Everything you do gives someone else permission to do the same.

If you pilfer items from work, you give permission to your coworkers.

If you cheat on a test, you give others permission to cheat.

If you deceive, you approve deceit.

If you gossip, you clear the path for others to gossip. 

It’s like you make a big announcement that it’s okay.  It’s almost like you are teaching others to do it. 

This is important because we all do things we would never teach someone else to do.  If we had to vote, we would vote that no one else should do it.

Thieves would vote that other people shouldn’t steal, especially from them.  And yet their own thievery puts the stamp of approval on theft. 

Romans 14:22 says, “…blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.”

That says to me, “Be careful what you approve.”

And that means, be careful what you do, because what you do, you approve.

Every action we take affects the world.  Oh, our action itself might have little impact, but it clears a path for others to follow, and they certainly will.  It may not be today or tomorrow, but we log things away in the back of our mind. 

How should I deal with a certain situation?  I know.  I’ll do just what Dad did 20 years ago.  I’ll do what my boss did, what my pastor did – even what my kids did.

Yes, kids, even your actions count.  If you go off the deep end, you are giving your parents permission to go off the deep end themselves.  That may sound silly, but it’s true.

Titus 2:7 says, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good…”

First Timothy 4:12 says, “…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”

The good news is that, by doing good, we can change the world for the better!  We can set a good example for others – and they will follow. 

Whether good or bad, people will follow in our footsteps.  They will walk in the paths we clear for them.

So remember, everything you do gives someone else permission to do it.

If you do it, you approve it.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

The Best Day of Your Life - Apples of Gold - December 14, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 14, 2009

“The Best Day of Your Life”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

What can you do with a small block of pine, four nails and four little plastic wheels?

That’s what I wanted to know when they passed out the little kit to us Cub Scouts.

I was only seven years old, but it was time to enter the world of fast cars and fast times.  It was time to enter . . . The Pinewood Derby.

So my dad gave me a sharp knife and told me to get to whittling.  It’s a wonder I still have all my digits. 

He didn’t get too involved, and it showed.  I painted my car red, white & blue, probably using leftover paint, and called it The Patriot. 

Dad did jump in at the end, probably to save the family name.  He drilled a hole in the back and added a fishing weight for that extra burst of speed.

Now if you’re new to the Pinewood Derby, each Scout makes his own car, within regulations, including a weight limit.  But there is a lot of room for creativity.  And I think the idea is to get the father and son to work together.

There is no motor; the cars are propelled by gravity.  You set them at the top of the track, release the lever, and the first car across the finish line wins.

Well The Patriot did not win.  And for some reason I kept wanting to call it The Patroit. 

But we did come in third, and maybe dad got a taste of glory, because next year we tried harder and came in second.

So the next year was going to be our year!  We were Pinewood Derby veterans, and we knew what it would take to win.  And one of the key ingredients was graphite.  You gotta have graphite, man, if you want to win the Derby. 

And today I still have my first place ribbon.  That’s right folks.  You are talking to Mr. First Place.

One problem, though.  That year they decided to crown a Grand Champion.  Nobody gave two hoots about first place once they trotted out the Grand Champion, and it sure wasn’t me.

And that was it.  That was the pinnacle of my Pinewood Derby career.

Thank heavens it was not the pinnacle of my life.  What a sorry life I would have if all I could do is look back to 4^th grade and say, “That was the best day of my life.”

In fact, that is a phrase I don’t really like, “the best day of my life.”  People said that to my daughter before her wedding, “It will be the best day of your life!” 

Good grief, I hope not.  Yes, you want it to be a great day, but you know what?  I don’t ever want my best day to be behind me.  What kind of life is that?

Even for people who reach great heights.  “Hi, I’m Kurt Warner, and the best day of my life was when we won the Super Bowl.”  “I’m Neil Armstrong, and the best day of my life was when I walked on the moon.”

Those are great days, don’t get me wrong, but what a sad life if your best day is behind you.  All you can do is look in the rearview mirror and watch it fade into the distance – and keep talking about it. 

And I’ve thought about this.  What would it be like to be known as the “former” such and so?  As in, your main identity is not in whom you are currently, or what you are doing, but it’s something you used to be. 

I don’t want to be a former anything, at least as far as my main identity, as in who I am and who I see myself to be. 

Think about Billy Graham, in his advanced years.  Is he Billy Graham, the former evangelist? 

No, that is not his core identity.  That is not who he is. 

And if you are a retired minister or missionary, that is not your core identity. 

Our main identity is this.  We are children of the King, and our best days are ahead of us! 

First John 3:2 says, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”

Second Timothy 4:8 says, “Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.”

I like that phrase “on that day.”  That, my friend, will be the best day of our life to that point, and that is the day we are looking forward to.  We don’t spend our lives looking in the rearview mirror.  How depressing!

First Corinthians 2:9 says, “…no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him…”

First Corinthians 15:52 says, “…for the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.”

First Thessalonians 4:17 says, “After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.  And so we will be with the Lord forever.”

There is a day coming, “that day,” when we will be changed, and we will be with the Lord forever.

That is the trump day that will trump all the previous days. 

Thank God we don’t have to look in the past to find our best day.  We aren’t forced to reminisce about the day we were married or the day we won the big game, or heaven forbid, the day we got a Cub Scout blue ribbon. 

We Christians have many great days ahead of us.  And coming soon is one glorious day, and compared to all our other days so far, that day will be the best day of our life.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

Think Poz - Apples of Gold - December 11, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 11, 2009

“Think Poz”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Marc Mero was a professional wrestling champion.

Now he is a Christian and speaks at churches as well as public school assemblies.

At the schools he represents the organization he founded called “Champion of Choices.”  He talks to the kids about making positive choices such as staying away from drugs and negative people, and the power of setting goals.

He has his own Champion of Choices t-shirt, and I really like the catchy little phrase on the back.  It simply says, “Think Poz,” P – O – Z, as in positive.

If you get a letter or a note from Marc, he’s likely to sign it like this:  God bless, and think poz!

It’s been said that Marc is the most positive guy you’ll ever meet. 

Now some people think that means you stick your head in the sand.  You can’t talk about problems or even think about problems because, after all, problems are negative.

Well listen, you can think positively while dealing with problems.  It’s not that you don’t have any problems, or that you ignore them.  The difference is the attitude you take while dealing with them.

You don’t have to get all stressed out about problems.  You don’t have to become an emotional basket case. 

Yes, there are always problems to be solved, challenges to be tackled, but you don’t have to get all whacked out about them.

Think of a quarterback dropping back to pass.  When the defenders break through, he could panic, get all stressed out, and choke.  Or he could keep his cool, hang in there, and still make a great play.

Think poz.  It doesn’t mean you sugar coat everything in some phony way; but it does mean you look for the bright side, for the good side. 

Here’s one good side you can think about in all things.  It’s Romans 8:28.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

That can always be in your mind, bolstering your thoughts and your spirit.  “I don’t know how this is all going to work out, but one thing I know for sure.  In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Philippians 4:8 is a great “think poz” passage.  It tells us to think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy.  It says to think about things that are true and noble and right, pure and lovely and admirable.  These are the things that should dominate our thinking.

Here is a little guideline I just heard about.  Can you tack this on at the end of your thoughts, this little phrase:  “in Jesus’ name”?

For example, does it sound right to say, “This is going to be a terrible day . . . in Jesus’ name”?

Now compare that to this.  “It’s going to be a wonderful day, in Jesus’ name!”

Or what about, “I can’t do that.  I’m a big loser . . . in Jesus’ name.”

What?  That sounds ridiculous.

Compare that to Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

That part about giving thanks – that alone will help you think more positive thoughts.  Being thankful just automatically gives you a more positive attitude.

But anyway, it says whatever we do, in word or deed, we should do it in Jesus’ name. 

So it has a scriptural basis, this idea of tacking “in Jesus’ name” at the end of your thought and seeing if it sounds right.

“I’ll never get a job . . . in Jesus’ name.” 

We are told that, whatever we say, we should say it in Jesus’ name.  And the mere act of bringing Jesus into the situation just changes everything.  The impossible becomes possible.  Defeat turns to victory.  Darkness becomes light. 

We are to have an eternal perspective on things.  We are to walk in the Spirit, with streams of living water bubbling up from within us.  We are to walk in faith, and First John 5:4 says faith is the victory that overcomes the world.

So if you want to improve your life, here’s one place to start, by applying this catchy little phrase.

Think poz.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

Lose All Your Guilty Stains - Apples of Gold - December 10, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 10, 2009

“Lose All Your Guilty Stains”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Cynthia Tucker is a Pulitzer Prize-winning writer for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Yesterday she wrote about Tiger Woods, and here’s what she said, “…his behavior affects only him, his wife and his sponsors…”

Well that’s a mighty small circle of influence.  If Tiger Woods’ behavior only affected that little group, then he wouldn’t have sponsors to begin with.

When Nike paid Tiger a hundred million dollars, it was precisely because he affected tons of people.  Tiger wears Nike in hopes that we all will follow suit. 

I remember when Tiger first started wearing that plain Nike cap with just that little Nike swoosh on the front.  I thought it was quite boring and shameless advertising.  And yet all of a sudden I saw guys all over place wearing that exact cap.

Why did they do it?  It didn’t affect their golf game.  It was no different than a thousand other caps. 

Well they did it because Tiger did it.

See, Tiger Woods has sponsors precisely because he is so extremely influential. 

Now I’m not saying Tiger’s infidelities will cause others to do the same.  In fact, those very infidelities are costing him influence.

But millions are still watching him, just waiting for the next bit of news about Tiger.  It’s sad, and it’s turned into a train wreck, but people are very, very interested in Tiger Woods and what he’s going to do.

And what he does has the potential to be very influential.  Some people will see how he handles his problems and decide that that is how they are going to handle their own problems.

So here is what I hope and pray happens.

I hope Tiger calls a big press conference, choosing the time and location for maximum impact.

And then I hope, with many tears, that he confesses his sins.  Not in gory detail, but in glorious repentance. 

I hope he announces that he has confessed his sins to God, and that through Jesus Christ, he has received forgiveness. 

And I hope he begins beaming with joy, even as the tears roll. 

I hope he declares an awesome Christian testimony, of being saved and born again – that “the old has gone, the new has come!”

Then I hope he announces that he is taking a year off from the tour, that he is submitting himself to a pastor, to be discipled and to get things straightened out in his life.  And so he can focus on his wife and children and fixing some things that, right now, are very broken.

I have no idea how Tiger will end up dealing with all this, but I know that the right thing for him is the right thing for all of us.  Our problem is sin, and the solution is Jesus.

Isaiah 1:18 says come now, let us reason together.  Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins.  He paid the penalty so we could be set free. 

Ephesians 1:17 says we have redemption, and our sins are forgiven, through the blood of Jesus.

The old hymn says, “There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.”

I have experienced this personally.  I can testify that it works.  Jesus redeemed me and forgave me and saved me.  My sins were as scarlet, but He made them white as snow.  He removed all the guilty stains.

What a joy!  What a burden lifted!  What a cleansing that takes place when we bring it all to Jesus!

This is the joy that I want Tiger Woods to experience.  And I know that if he experiences it, he will influence many others to experience it as well.  Many will learn from him that this is the way you handle sin.  Like it says in First John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Oh that Tiger would be free from this terrible burden!  And oh that, through his influence, millions of others would find freedom as well!

This is the Gospel, the good news!

Through Jesus, we can be delivered from the burden of sin.

Through Jesus, our sins, though as scarlet, will be made white as snow.

Through Jesus, we can gloriously lose all of our guilty stains.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
 To subscribe to your own daily “Apples of Gold” e-mail, write dougapple@wave94.com.
If you want to be removed from this e-mail list, simply click reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line.
If you want to catch “Apples of Gold” in its original audio format, go to www.wave94.com
To search through the large archive of past articles, go here:  http://www.wave94.com/modules.php?name=Stories_Archive
If you have trouble reaching me at my main e-mail address, try this one:  douglas_apple@msn.com

(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL  32315
(850) 926-8000
-vi-

My Advice to Parents After Two Weddings in One Year - Apples of Gold - December 9, 2009 -vi-

To listen to the radio version, click here.

 

To search archives, click here.

Apples of Gold
 

Radio Script for December 9, 2009

“My Advice to Parents After Two Weddings in One Year”

 

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Okay, so my two oldest kids got married this year.

Our son’s wedding was in June, which was a warm-up for hosting our daughter’s wedding in November.

And the question is, now that I have two children successfully established on their own, what advice might I pass on to other parents?

Well here is one super important thing.  Parents, be involved in your child’s life. 

I know that’s pretty obvious when your kids are two or five or nine.  But as they become teenagers, and as they begin to forge a life apart from you, it’s tempting to step back and wash your hands of them a little bit.

Don’t do it.  Don’t ever stop talking to them and listening to them and spending time with them.  Yes, they will be moody and sometimes downright weird, but listen to this illustration I heard from Dr. Dobson.

He compares parenting to whitewater rafting.  For a while the water is smooth and everyone is having a nice time in the boat.  But then come the teenage years, which he compares to hitting the rapids.  When you hit the rapids, he says, the main thing is to just keep everybody in the boat.  Yes, you may get soaked, and you may lose some of your stuff, but focus on keeping them in the boat.

What that means is, stay in relationship with your teenager.  It may not always be pretty, but keep communicating.

And most of all, keep on loving them.  Be consistent.  Always want what is best for them.

A former pastor of mine said, “My children may choose to go off into the world, but they will have to climb over a lot of love to get there.”

This is what we did with our son and daughter.  We never stopped spending time with them and having conversations.  There were times when I would say, “Let’s go for a walk.”  Sometimes it’s good to just go for a drive, where you don’t have to face each other.  It makes it easier to talk.

So parents, stay involved in your teenager’s life.  Maintain the relationship.  Keep them in the boat.

Now, when they start dating, I think you should get to know the person they are dating.  I know we don’t have arranged marriages these days, but let me tell you, you do have some control over who they meet.

Both of our children married people from church.  Growing up, our kids didn’t know anything different but going to church.  We were always involved, always faithful, so that’s all our kids knew.  It’s no surprise, therefore, that they ended up meeting and marrying someone from church.

And these were kids who had been at our house.  We always tried to make our house kid-friendly.  It was a place where teenagers could feel comfortable.  One thing – feed them!  Young people love to go where there is free food.

Now it’s hard for a parent to step in and force a young adult to date this one and not that one.  But when you love them, and they know you love them, then you can offer your advice, you should offer your advice.

Then when their dating becomes serious, have conversations with whomever they are dating.  Get to know them.  Then you can offer wise advice to your child.  They may or may not take it, you can’t force them.  But you can sure offer it.

And if they don’t take your advice, don’t write them off.  Remember – keep them in the boat.  Maintain the relationship.

And begin to build a relationship with the other person.  They may become part of your family someday, so start building a relationship.  Begin to love them, and want what’s best for them.

You are probably noticing that the word relationship is popping up a lot.  That’s because that’s what it comes down to, your relationship with your child as well as the person they end up marrying.

And, as it gets serious, I think it’s good to get to know the other person’s family.  Their family has a profound effect on them, and it all affects the life they will forge with your child.  So get to know their family.

And now here’s something that I’m told is old fashioned, but I like it.  I think the young man should ask for the daughter’s hand in marriage.  This is a sit down with the future bride’s father, man to man.  Now you may want to get mom involved, and that’s fine, but I like the mano-a-mano.

My son had this meeting with his future father-in-law, and my daughter’s boyfriend met with me.  We spent a lot of time discussing his life and his vision and his own relationship with God.  And I told him what I expected of him as my daughter’s husband.

See, the main point is, get involved in the process.  Be involved in your child’s life, not just when they are little, but always.  Now this isn’t meddling and being pushy or trampling on their autonomy.  But it is involvement, grounded in love, and wanting what is best for your child.

And, of course, all this is bathed in prayer, much much prayer, asking God for wisdom, and for His blessings on your children.  We keep the kids in the boat, and we keep God at the helm of the boat.

So there you go.  My advice to parents, based on looking back after two weddings in one year. 

I’m glad to say that my children seem well on their way to establishing strong families of their own, and to me, a main key was the fact that their mom and I stayed involved in their lives.


Comments?

E-mail me:  dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today!  With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.


© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip 
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)

Why “The Arrow’s Tip”?  Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold.  Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.”  I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.

Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
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