Time for a marriage tune-up! Today let’s do a diagnostic on five areas of your marriage.
Are You Having Fun Together?
Are you laughing together? A key to a strong marriage is that you spend your most enjoyable times together. If you’re not careful, your relationship can decay into a stale business partnership. All you talk about are the things you must plan together, money, children, the house, where to spend your holidays. A marriage danger zone is when you are having fun, but not with each other.
Are You Going Out On Dates?
This is just as important as it was before you were married. You need some romantic time together. It may mean a fancy restaurant. Or it may simply mean a nice walk. Just make this a habit, go out and do something pleasant…together.
Are You Having Silly Arguments?
Married people say things to one another that they would never say to a guest in their home. Why should you be polite to strangers, then brutal to your spouse? Hold your tongue. And this especially applies when responding. You feel like you just took a hit. They just slammed you. That’s when it is super important to not react. Let it slide. “A quiet answer turns away wrath.” And often they didn’t mean it the way it sounded anyway. A little common courtesy goes a long way.
Are You Filling Their “Love Tank”?
Everyone has a love tank, and someone will fill it. It is very important that it is you. When was the last time you left a surprise love note? Bought some flowers? Sent a “Just thinking of you” card, or even an e-mail? What about hugs and kisses? Even a five-year-old knows you need lots of X’s and O’s (and guys, I’m not talking about football!)
Are You Growing Spiritually…Together?
That means keeping each other current with where you are in your faith. You should be sharpening one another, praying for and with each other.
I’ll never forget what the actor Kevin Costner said one time, “Marriage is a tough gig.” When I read that I thought, “He’ll be divorced soon.” And sure enough, he was. Because if you focus on the tough parts, you will burn out. Or you will just become numb, with no feelings at all for your spouse.
But it’s never too late to reignite your marriage. Like focusing a magnifying glass on a dead leaf, when you focus on your marriage, soon that spark and flame will return, and then burn brighter than ever.
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