Friday, July 23, 2021

So Close to You I'm See-Through

(Click to listen)

I’m Doug Apple...and my heart is on fire.  (Luke 24:32)

Sometimes God uses little scraps of words to speak mountains of truth.

I think that’s what’s happening in the song “In Awe” by Hollyn.

If my sources are correct, this song wasn’t written in the usual way.  The singer Hollyn was literally put into a vocal booth in a sound studio and told to just sing.

She said, “I didn’t have any words at first, so I took my time, closed my eyes, and for a solid hour thanked God for what He’d been doing in my life.”

And out came the song “In Awe.”

James 4:8 says that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us.  It sounds like that’s what Hollyn did in creating this song, and that is definitely what I feel whenever I hear it, like I’m drawing near to God and He is drawing near to me.

And the lyrics say that.  The song opens with these words:

Can’t speak,

So close I can feel You breathe,

You’re so holy and worthy,

You know where I’ve been.

Can’t move,

So close to You I’m see-through,

No, not innocent like You,

Oh God, I’m sorry.

It reminds me of Isaiah chapter 6 where the prophet Isaiah sees the Lord, high and exalted, and Isaiah’s reaction is to realize his own sinfulness in the light of the holy God.

In the song “In Awe,” the singer is drawing into the presence of God and begins to feel the weight of His holiness, and listen to that line again:  

You’re so holy and worthy,

You know where I’ve been.

God knows where you’ve been, my friend.  He knows where I’ve been.  He knows EVERYWHERE we’ve been.  He knows any shame, any sin, any hurt, any anger and bitterness.  He knows where we’ve been, and it’s an awesome and terrible thought.

The song continues:

So close to You I’m see-through.

God sees it all, including any dark places.  There is no hiding before the living God, and listen to the singer’s response to the presence of God:

I’m not innocent like You.

Oh, my friend, we are not innocent, and we stand in stark contrast to the high and exalted, holy and worthy almighty God.  No wonder Isaiah, the mighty prophet of God, cried out in agony, “Woe unto me.  I am ruined.”

We are see-through in His presence.  He knows where we’ve been.  He knows it all.

The singer almost whimpers in God’s presence, and the song goes on:

No, not innocent like You,

Oh God, I’m sorry.

What else can be said?  What else can we say but, “Oh God, I am so, so sorry.”

But oh my friend, listen to this Bible verse.  Psalm 34:18.  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.

Yes, our hearts break for our sin in the presence of God, but as soon as they break, He rushes in.

The song continues:

I’m living in awe,

You don’t need me at all,

But You couldn’t love me more.

Oh man, let that sink in.  God, You don’t need me at all…but You couldn’t love me more.”

First John 3:1.  What great love the Father has LAVISHED on us, that we should be called His children.

The song continues:

Your love is overwhelming, Your love is overwhelming,

It’s only You and me here.

Your love is overwhelming, Your love is overwhelming,

I can hardly breathe here.

I’m living in awe,

‘Cause You don’t need me at all,

But You couldn’t love me more,

You couldn’t love me more,

You couldn’t love me more.

Hallelujah.  Praise God.  Thank You, Father, for the love You have lavished on us, in spite of ourselves, in spite of our sin, in spite of where we’ve been, but You couldn’t love us more, and we bow in Your holy presence and we love you back.  We love You back.  We love You back.

Amen.

May God bless you today.

I’m Doug Apple.


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