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Apples of Gold
Radio Script for February 12, 2009
“Make Deposits in Your Spouse’s Love Bank”
Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.
Valentine’s Day is Saturday.
So if you are married, or in my son’s case, about to be married, I have some advice for you.
Pick up a book by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.
He has a lot of great books, and I haven’t read them all, but what I have read I love.
He just has some tremendous insights into how people fall in love, what makes them fall out of love, and what they can do to stay in love.
One of his key principles is the Love Bank. Dr. Harley says we all have a “love bank,” and people are always making either deposits or withdrawals. When someone makes us happy, when they stir up positive emotions, they are making large deposits into our love bank. But when they stir up negative emotions, they start making withdrawals.
So imagine a woman on her wedding day. Her new husband’s account in her love bank is full of deposits. She feels great about him and wants to be with him all the time.
But things happen in marriage that can cause withdrawals from the love bank. And like any bank account, if the withdrawals continue at a pace faster than the deposits, eventually the account will run dry – and that is when you feel like you have fallen out of love.
Now some people think that’s inevitable. That’s just the way marriage is, stuck with the old ball and chain.
But Dr. Harley says that is not the case at all. He says you can stay in love throughout a lifetime – if you simply follow certain “rules.”
Dr. Harley is a marital therapist who has counseled thousands of couples. He has scientifically tracked what works and what doesn’t. He has even seen marriages in the gravest of circumstances come roaring back with a passion.
It can be done! You can have two people, formerly in love, but now out of love, or in hate, or even indifferent – yet they can fall back in love simply by following Dr. Harley’s principles. And he says it’s as simple as two people making more deposits than withdrawals.
Dr. Harley stresses this idea of being “in love.” He says it is a romantic emotion, and that it is not as fickle as you might think. He says it can easily be created just by doing the right things.
Some people think just caring about each other will keep their marriage strong. But Dr. Harley says, “I’ve counseled hundreds of couples that care about each other yet have filed for divorce. But I have yet to know of a couple in love with each other who are even contemplating divorce.”
That’s so true! Two people who are in love will do anything to be together. The last thing they want is to be apart.
So Dr. Harley keys in on this principle of being in love. He writes about staying in love, and how to do it throughout your life.
Now I can’t possibly tell you right here everything Dr. Harley has written. But I’m just telling you, it’s good stuff. And I think one of the best things you can do for your marriage this Valentine’s Day is to pick up a book by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.
No, I’m not getting paid to say that! I say it because over the years I have been so blessed by his books, and I’ve learned so much, not only for my marriage, but also for the people I give advice to.
Dr. Harley has a website, and here it is, write it down. It’s simply Marriage Builders dot com. That’s Marriage Builders dot com.
Like I said, he has several great books. Here are some of my favorite titles:
“5 Steps to Romantic Love,”
“Fall in Love, Stay in Love,”
and “His Needs, Her Needs.”
Throughout his books you will find the same basic principles, explained to fit various situations.
And if you know a married couple that is coping with infidelity, his book “Surviving An Affair” is amazing.
Oh, and another book I have by him is called, “Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love.”
Now don’t rush off and buy a book and throw it at your spouse and say “Happy Valentine’s Day, jerk!”
But do educate yourself on Dr. Harley’s principles, whether through his books, or through his website, Marriage Builders dot com.
Learn how to fall in love and stay in love with the advice of Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.
And make sure you make some big deposits in your spouse’s Love Bank on Valentine’s Day Saturday!
Comments?
E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)
Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.
Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL 32315
(850) 926-8000
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