Don't Be Small

I remember sitting in her office like it was yesterday.

She owned a little quick-stop gas station, and was a favorite client of mine; and her office was a mess!  Not because she was messy, but because she was busy. 

And there on her wall, in the midst of all that mayhem, was a little saying that always made me laugh.  It said this:

“Stress:  The confusion created when your mind overrides your body’s desire to choke some jerk who desperately deserves it.”

It’s funny, and we’ve all been in those situations.

I remember one time doing business with a guy, and we had a deal.  I didn’t know it, but the man I was dealing with actually didn’t have the final authority.  When the man who did have the final authority heard about it, he called me up and chewed me out, even called me “underhanded,” like I should have known who all had what authority in that company. 

Well what would you do in that situation?

I did what I thought was the right thing to do.  I apologized profusely, said I sure didn’t do it on purpose, said there was certainly nothing underhanded as he accused, but that it would never happen again, and that I was sorry.

When I hung up the phone, a girl in the office who had overheard the conversation said, “That guy’s a jerk.  I’ll never go there again.” 

And that’s our natural response, isn’t it?  When we feel like someone’s been a jerk, our natural tendency is to choke them, if not physically, then at least economically. 

Funny how that sounds so correct.  But Jesus said, “Love your enemies.”  I say this, “Don’t be small.” 

I like biographies.  I like learning about life by reading about the lives of others.  Currently I am reading a biography of Bill Belichick.  He is the head coach of the 3-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots.  In that book is the story about a guy from ESPN who offended Belichick.  Then it said that the coach is the kind to “never forget” such an offence, and that he even held it against other people from ESPN.  “If it’s true,” I thought, “How small.”

When someone offends you, don’t be small.  Forgive them!  Sure, you could be a jerk, but you’re bigger than that.  You have heard of things getting “stuck in your craw.”  I don’t think this should happen.  Forgiveness and love are like a clean sweep of your craw.  Nothing gets stuck there because love and forgiveness keep it clean. 

I remember one time I wanted to network with some other radio people, to get their input.  I sent out a few e-mails, and I got one back from a guy who raked me over the coals for e-mailing him.  He wanted to know where I had “harvested” his e-mail address.  He said he didn’t want to be bothered by my “junk.”  Wow!  Go back to my definition of stress. 

See, our human nature in such a case wants to lash back.  For me, it takes a minute to process things.  I remind myself, “Forgive immediately.  Don’t let anything get stuck in your craw.”

And remember this, you may dwell on things, but these crabby people?  They have forget all about it!  They quickly find new people to be crabby to.  So why poison yourself with stress and unforgiveness, and even thoughts of how to make them pay?

Forgettaboutit!

Let these three little words remind you:  Don’t be small.

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

Claim Everything as Victory

It was church night at the gymnasium.

We had a hot game of basketball going, and I was bringing the ball down the court.

The big guy in the middle decided to come out and challenge me.  I thought I could drive past him, but he threw his big body right in my path. 

I tried to make a quick cut, and that’s when my ankle gave way.  I crumpled to the floor. 

As embarrassing as it was, I had to be helped off the court.

I sat on the sidelines, hoping the pain would go away and I could get back in the game.

It didn’t.

They helped me get my shoe and sock off and, oh, this was not good. 

As church people surrounded me, staring at my foot, one woman spoke up.  With all ears tuned in, she announced, “Well, it just proves to me once again that almost everyone has unattractive feet.”

What?  I am in agony, and this woman is dissing my feet in front of everyone.  What’s up with that?

And besides, what’s wrong with my feet?  Not too big, not too small.  Not too hairy.  Not too wide or too narrow.  My toes are straight, my nails are cut.  No unsightly bumps or calluses.  Not even a minor case of athlete’s foot.

What is this woman’s problem with my feet?

Now I am at a fork in the road.  One path is to become acutely aware of my feet.  I can keep them covered up from now on.  No more sand between my toes.  No fresh air, because these babies will never see the light of day.  Why not?  Because this woman dissed my feet in front of everyone.

In college, I minored in Public Relations.  Though I never worked in the industry, I still keep up with it in books and journals.  In one of those I read a fantastic quote.  I don’t remember who originally wrote it, and a Google search turned up nothing.  But here it is:

“In business, claim everything as victory.”

In other words, no matter what misfortune befalls your company, there is some way to get good publicity out of it.

O.K.  So now I have this woman dissing my feet.  How can I possibly claim this as victory?  How can I keep from sinking into despair?  How can I keep from lashing back or holding it against her?  “Let’s see your feet, honey.  In fact, let’s just take a good hard look at your whole existence.  How about we run you through the shredder, what do you say to that?”

That would be a natural reaction, but certainly not Christ-like.  So how should we react to such a slight? 

The first step is immediate forgiveness.  To live in forgiveness is like having a protective force field around you.  Negative comments can’t get through to you, because as soon they are aimed your way, they are dissolved in the force field of forgiveness.

How do you turn on that force field?  By deciding now, “No matter what is said about me, I will forgive.  Jesus has forgiven me a much greater debt, and to honor that, I will forgive others - immediately.”

But those words will want to linger in your head.  Then what?

Then I go back to Philippians 4:8, which tells us to think about good things.  We are to dwell on the good, not on the negative.

Like I said, the negative will want to linger in your head.  So here is what I do.  I try to flip it upside down and look for the positive, which I know is something God wants me to do, based on Philippians 4:8.*

So what positive thing could I possibly find in that woman’s comment?  Well here is how I claimed that one for victory.  I don’t think she would have made that crack about my feet, if she thought I was ugly.  She would have expected unattractive feet.  So the positive flip side to her negative comment is that she must not think I’m ugly!

Of course that could be just shallow flim-flam; positive, but good for nothing.  So we have to go back to God’s word, which says I am His “workmanship,”** fearfully and wonderfully made.*** 

So it’s not just that we think positive thoughts.  We think positive thoughts based on God’s truth.  There lies the true power in positive thinking.

So what kind of negativity is beating you up today?  Flip that around and replace it with God’s positive truth. 

With the Lord in your corner, and His truth in your head, then no matter what anyone says, you will be able to claim everything as victory.

 (As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

* Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

** Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

*** Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

 

 

Freedom & Responsibility

This is a very simple concept.

I’ve been drilling it into my children for years now, just ask them.

Freedom goes hand in hand with responsibility.

The more responsible you are, the more freedom you get.

The less responsible you are, the less freedom you get.

If my children are responsible with their cell phones, they are free to use them.

But if they are irresponsible with their cell phones, there goes their freedom.

Now they might think this is just some crazy idea their dad dreamed up to make them miserable.  But this is actually a law of the universe.  Responsibility and freedom are intrinsically linked.

Let’s talk football.  The University of Georgia produced an awesome linebacker named Odell Thurman.  He was drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals 2 years ago, and as a rookie he led the team in tackles with 148. 

Then he did something irresponsible.  He skipped a drug test.  For that, he lost the freedom to play in the first four games of the 2006 season.  He was suspended by the NFL. 

Last September he was caught doing something even more irresponsible.  He was arrested for drunk driving.  For that he lost the freedom to play for the entire season.

His irresponsibility also cost him some freedom in society.  Last Friday a judge ordered him to spend six days in a treatment center.

Thurman hopes to be reinstated by the NFL.  He wants the freedom to play football again.  But remember, freedom and responsibility are intrinsically linked.  If Thurman behaves responsibly, he will get the freedom he wants.

Unfortunately, this weekend Thurman got into a well-publicized fight in his hometown of Monticello, Georgia.  Reportedly he was at a party in the wee hours of the morning with his brother, who has been accused of pulling a gun on a couple guys.

I’m not picking on Odell Thurman.  He is just the latest of a long line of professional athletes who are shocked to lose their freedom when they behave irresponsibly.

Like I said, I have drilled this into my kids.  I think it is one of the most important lessons we can teach our young citizens.

The problem is our idea of freedom.  For some reason we think freedom means we can do whatever we want whenever we want.  If we are truly free, we are free to do anything.

Not true. 

Last night my son was helping me with some yard work.  In our conversation I said something like, “Well, you’re 18.  You’re free to do whatever you want.”

“So I can just put this shovel down and go back in the house?”

“Sure,” I said.  “You’re free to do that.  And I’m free to respond accordingly.”

He kept shoveling.

Now let’s say I let my kids do whatever they want.  I raise them that way.  At home they can talk to their parents any way they want, watch whatever they want on TV, stay out late, drink, smoke, cuss, skip chores, skip school – they are completely free.

Well we all know that is not freedom.  They will become totally self-centered, which is actually bondage.

If we want to raise good kids and productive citizens, we must start when they are little, start teaching them the connection between freedom and responsibility.  If we don’t, society will have to do it for us. 

I am no sociologist, and I’ve done no research.  But my gut says that our prisons are full of people who didn’t have Daddy and Mommy teaching them from the youngest age to behave responsibly.  Daddy and Mommy did not take away their freedom when they behaved irresponsibly, so now society has done it.

Another thought.  Daddy and Mommy wanted their own freedom.  They were not responsible in raising their children, and now they’ve lost some freedoms of their own.

Look around and you will find examples everywhere.  Look at your own life, at work, at school and at home.  When you behave responsibly, you get more freedom.  But when you are irresponsible, you lose freedom.

I’m telling you, it’s the “law of the land.”  You can’t avoid it.  These two things always go together:  Freedom and Responsibility.

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

Don't Go There

I am now about ready to give you a very powerful tool in your arsenal.

It is a powerful little saying that can change your life.  I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but here it is:

“Don’t go there.”

That’s it.  And if you need to you can use the “extra strength” version:

“Don’t even go there.”

Our thoughts are like undisciplined little brats.  If left undisciplined, they will run all over the place and do a lot of damage. 

Look.  There are some things you simply cannot think about.  You can’t “go there.” 

I know, I know.  Thoughts just pop into your head.  Well, then, kick them out.

What would you do with an unwanted intruder in your home?  I liked the marquee I saw in front of a business in Tallahassee one time.  It said, “I am guarding this place 3 nights a week with a shotgun.  You guess which nights.”

Unwanted intruders get shot, not entertained.  It must be the same with our thoughts.  When unwanted thoughts pop in, don’t entertain them.  Shoot them!  And right here is your silver bullet, this little phrase.  As soon as a cruddy thought pops into your head, slam the door shut by telling yourself, “Don’t go there!”

You know what, I think a lot of depression could be solved with this little phrase.  As soon as some depressing thought pops into your head, just say, “Don’t go there!”  As soon as some temptation presents itself, just say, “Don’t go there!”  If it’s really tempting, bring out the big gun, a “Don’t even go there!”

Sometimes it might feel like a shooting gallery.  Bad thoughts popping up everywhere.  And you know how it is, thoughts can be triggered by the smallest things.  Memories can be stirred up by certain scents or songs or even TV shows.  These may want to drag your mind down a certain destructive path.  Well don’t go there! 

Officials are always talking about suicide prevention.  Not long ago a friend left me a voice mail about someone she knew who had just committed suicide.  But suicide is just the end of a very bad train of thought.  If only they would have told themselves early on, “Suicide?  Don’t go there!”

God is very interested in our thoughts, and He tells us what to think about.  Philippians 4:8 says,

“Whatever is true,

Whatever is noble,

Whatever is right,

Whatever is pure,

Whatever is lovely,

Whatever is admirable,

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.”

And if anything else tries to push its way through the door of your mind today, just put it square in your sights and say:

“Don’t go there!”

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

Fine Wine and...Spirits

Radio Script for May 31, 2007

“Fine Wine and…Spirits”

Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.

Every day I drive by the same sign.

It says, “Fine Wine and Spirits.”

And I think, “You got that right.”

Now let’s go back to when my kids were little. I always read to them at bedtime, often from the Bible. I tried to pick the Bible stories carefully, making sure they were good for little ears.

It was at that time that I realized how often Jesus dealt with demons. I mean, there I was, trying to read a nice little Bible story about Jesus to my babies, and it seemed like every few paragraphs another demon popped up.

I know it’s in the Bible, but I really didn’t want to read stories about demons to my kids at bedtime.

Demons are the kind of thing we’d rather not talk about, period. But when you go through Matthew, Mark, Luke and John you constantly run into evil spirits.

And where were these evil spirits? They were inside people.

I’m not sure how it works, since demons are spirits. An x-ray or CAT scan won’t reveal an evil spirit inside someone.

That leads many people to disbelieve. Until they see a demon, they won’t believe, but that’s another matter. My remarks today are for those who believe the Bible. And if you believe the Bible, well, there they are…evil spirits.

Is there any reason to believe that evil spirits are no longer around? No. I find in the Bible no indication that evil spirits have changed since the time of Christ. So I have to conclude that evil spirits live inside people today, just like they did back then.

To me, one of the most poignant teachings on this topic is found in Matthew chapter 12. Jesus said that when an evil spirit comes out of a man, it starts looking for a place to go. And now listen to this, it doesn’t go alone. Jesus said it finds other spirits that are even more wicked than itself. These evil spirits are looking for a place to live. They are looking for a person to inhabit.

I know I just lost some of you. This is way over the top. I agree. But it’s right here in the Bible. The same Jesus who talks about eternal life and forgiveness and feed the poor and love your neighbor, it’s this same Jesus who teaches about the reality of evil spirits.

I have to believe that there are evil spirits in this world, and they are seeking people to inhabit.

So where do they go? Again, I don’t really understand how it works, but Jesus does. In Matthew 12:43 He said, “When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it.” So apparently a demon can’t just land anywhere.

The way I imagine it is that evil spirits are looking for easy targets.

Have you ever seen those nature films with big cats chasing a herd? They don’t need to catch the whole herd. They only need to catch a few weak ones.

I imagine demons looking for the weak ones; people whose guard is down, people who are open to suggestion.

So let’s say there are evil spirits in Tallahassee, and they are looking for a new home, a new person to inhabit. Where will they go?

I think they will hang out any place where people are taking alcohol or drugs. These substances lower your resistance. They make you weak. You are more open to suggestion.

“Doug, are you saying that people who drink and do drugs are opening themselves to demon possession?”

That is exactly what I’m saying. Anyone who is drunk or high will fall behind the pack, making themselves easy prey.

If you drive by a crack house or a dive bar, it’s not hard to imagine it as a haunt of demons. But you know what? I think evil spirits also hang around our city’s nice looking liquor stores. I mean think about it. A demon can just follow the guy home. Soon enough his guard will be down, making him an easy target.

When teaching about evil spirits, Jesus offered this parable: “How can anyone enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can rob his house.”*

How better to tie someone up than with alcohol or drugs?

And think about this. Why is it that sin and evil so naturally follow alcohol and drug use? I think one reason is that evil spirits jump on the opportunity.

I am no “demonologist,” but it comes up so often in the Bible, we need to take it more seriously.

There is much more to be said on this topic, but I’m out of time. I just hope you’ll think twice the next time you drive by a sign that says, “Fine Wine and…Spirits.”

Comments?

E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.

May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.

* Matthew 12:29

A random thought: Are demons stronger than people? If not, why do we need God to drive them out?

Jesus said in Matthew 12:28 that he drove out demons “by the Spirit of God.”

Jesus taught about demons who found a “house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order.” I see that as a “good” person, but a person without the Spirit of God dwelling inside. Their “house” may be orderly, but it is empty – apparently a good home for evil spirits.

Be Careful Where You Get Your Information

Have you ever heard this one?

Have you heard that, on average, while we are sleeping, we will unknowingly swallow, like, 100 spiders in our lifetime? 

Of course that’s ridiculous, just another urban myth.  Yet I’ll bet there are kids all over the country who heard the story one time and believe it for all they’re worth.  Can’t you see those poor kids, lying in bed, afraid to go to sleep because a spider might crawl in their mouth?

Trust me.  Spiders are trying to avoid mouths, not crawl into them.

The point is, you have to be careful where you get your information.

Now listen to this.  We let some of the stupidest people influence us. 

They write books and produce TV shows.  They create websites and make movies.  They print magazines and sell millions of them at the grocery store.

They have the capability of producing “information tonnage,” yet they are stupid.  But when we hear something often enough, we believe it.  And the next thing you know, we can’t sleep at night for fear of swallowing spiders.

So let me ask you, where are you getting your information?  Do you know what kind of people they are?  What are their motives?

I try to make my primary source of information that great Book of Books, the Bible.

And one thing I like about the Bible is that it is full of stories we can learn from.

Here’s one I like found in Second Chronicles 22 and 23.

King Jehoram was dead.  The Bible says, “He passed away…to no one’s regret.* 

He had a wife named Athaliah who was wicked, too.  Their son Ahaziah became king when his dad Jehoram died. 

Now remember my point here – be careful where you get your information.

The new king Ahaziah got a lot of his information from his mother.  Second Chronicles 22:3 says this, “His mother encouraged him in doing wrong.”

Now let me ask you, do you think Ahaziah thought that through?  Do you think he said to himself, “Gee, Mom’s telling me to do wrong?” 

I doubt it.  These are descendants of the wicked Ahab and Jezebel.  When Ahaziah became king, he inherited a lousy administration going all the way back to Ahab.  The Bible says, “They became his advisers, to his undoing.”

Now here is the big question.  Who is advising us?  Are they advising us to our undoing?

Do you think Ahaziah said to himself, “Gee, these people are advising me to my undoing?”

No.  If he thought that he would have done something different.

Now get this.  Ahaziah was getting advice.  It was to his undoing, but he thought it was okay. 

So what about us?  Could we be getting bad advice…but think it’s okay?

How can we know?

I say, measure it against the great standards of the Bible.  If it doesn’t measure up, it’s bad advice. 

You know, there is so much bad advice floating around.  Sometimes I read these advice columns and the stupidity stuns me. 

But you know what?  To them, it’s not stupid.  Why?  Because they have nothing to compare it to.  It’s only by contrast that stupidity is revealed. 

Poor Ahaziah had no contrast.  All around him were bad advisors, including his own crazy mother.  He had nothing to compare it to.  With no contrast, stupidity seems…normal.

So get some contrast today.  Pick up your Bible and get into the Holy Word of God.  Then make all your other advice measure up to the Lord’s high standards.

And remember to be careful…be careful where you get your information.

*  Second Chronicles 21:20

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

 

What Are You Waiting For?

Do you ever feel like you are just waiting for something?

I remember one summer in my late teens working at a factory.  It was good money, and a friend and I worked together, so it was fun.  But it was the second shift.  Have you ever worked a second shift?  Some people love it, but for me, it just sort of put the rest of my day in limbo.  I felt like I was always just waiting to go to work. 

I hated that feeling.  It was like, because I knew I had to go to work, I couldn’t go do something else.  It was a mental thing, I know.

And you know what?  I see a lot of people living their lives that way.  They can’t go do something because they are waiting. 

Right now I am thinking of single people.  Many single people are waiting.  They put their lives on hold in a way, waiting for someone special to come along.

This is especially true of single women, I think.  They are waiting for prince charming to come along and sweep them off their feet. 

I am also thinking of workers.  Many people are doing jobs they dislike.  They dream of something bigger and better, but right now, they are waiting – waiting for their ship to come in.  Waiting for someone to “discover” them and sweep them off to fame and fortune.

Some of you spend all week long just waiting for the weekend.

I went to a class reunion a few years ago, and an old schoolmate told me his life’s plans.  He was going to work in this plant, enjoying their good wages and benefits, until he could retire.  He didn’t really like the job, but he was going to put up with it, and wait to pursue a more satisfying life until he retired. 

There are many just like him.  You are waiting….waiting to retire. 

Now this is a terrible thing to say, but some of you are just waiting for someone to die.

Now I am thinking of prisoners.  I know some of our listeners to Wave 94 are imprisoned.  You are just waiting…waiting to get out so you can get on with your life.

I remember meeting Jeff Komendat of Care Tallahassee.  Jeff is a listener who came by the studio to pick up a CD that he won.  Jeff has lived a rough life, and was in and out of prison several times.  The last time was in 2001, and he told me how at that point God truly saved him.  He could have said, “God, now I will wait until I get out so you can use me.”  But instead he said, “God, please use me right now here in this prison.”  And God did work through Jeff, right there in prison.

See, you don’t have to wait until someday.  In fact you shouldn’t wait until someday.  You have precious few breaths in this lifetime, so you need to get on with it, with whatever you are called to do.    

Some of you are waiting to hear from God.  You are waiting for God to come through in some miraculous way. 

Stop the waiting!  Waiting is passive, but God is active.  Waiting is reactive, but God is proactive. 

I like what I heard one time, that in the military, the rules are to keep obeying your last command until you get a new one.  So what is the last thing you felt like you were supposed to do?  Then be actively doing that until, if and when, a new door opens for you. 

Think about this:  There is a reason that waiting and wasting sound so much alike.  It’s like me back in my second shift days.  Each morning I wasted all that time, waiting to go to work. 

I think this message is specifically for one of you today, so my question for you is this:   

What are you waiting for?

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

 

I Don't Know What I'm Doing!

I am the kind of person that doesn’t just dive into things.  Before I start, I want to do research.  I want to learn all I can learn.  I love the internet because now you can research anything, anytime of the day.  I do this so I can make sure I do it right!

For example, we bought this home here in Tallahassee, and, of course, it needs some work.  So I just put in a new kitchen sink.  Of course it’s never just a sink, it’s also faucets and water pipes and drain pipes and, you know, I don’t really have a passion for any of it. 

But anyway, I bought this new strainer that connects the sink to the drain pipe.  I did everything they said.  I did everything I found on the fix-it-yourself website.  Everything seemed simple enough and logical enough.  But I’d never done it before. 

I had no experience.

I needed someone who had done this a few times to be there to help me. 

My daughter and I were talking last night about a certain family we know.  They are all in the construction business…this generation, the last generation, and the generation before that.  They all live in the same location and are in the same business.  The experience of one generation is passed on to the next generation.  They have been successful, and it’s no wonder.  One generation builds upon the experience of the previous.

I had a conversation recently with someone about education.  They asked me what I considered the best form of education.  I said I thought the old fashioned apprentice system was the best.  There is really no substitute for an older person with experience taking a younger person under their wing and teaching them, day in and day out.

I had an old boss that was fond of saying, “Experience is the teacher of fools.”  What he meant was, “Don’t learn something by your own mistakes, if you can learn from someone else’s experience.”

Like I said, I am a researcher.  I am a reader.  I am also a question-asker.  I have an inquisitive mind, and I don’t mind going to people for information. 

But I have found that you can pack all the knowledge you want into your brain, and it still doesn’t take the place of experience.  And there are only two ways to have the advantages of experience.  Either learn from your own experiences, your own school of hard knocks.  Or you can learn by spending time with someone else that has more experience – and that is the best way.

So where do you want to go in the next few months and years of your life?  My advice is to find someone who has already been there, then ask them to “apprentice” you for a while.  There is simply no replacement for experience.

Take my sink, for example.  An experienced sink-putter-inner would have noticed immediately what I didn’t….that the strainer I bought was faulty.  All of my research and all of my knowledge didn’t prepare me for something like that.  And just think, I could have avoided that “look” from my wife, if I would have only had the help of someone with experience.

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

 

Pray For Your Children's Future Spouse

“Pray for your children’s future spouse.” 

That’s what her e-mail said.  Her long e-mail, about the trials of a grandmother who was being rejected by her son and his wife. 

This lady was a friend of mine, and I knew her son.  I watched him grow up.  Everything seemed normal enough.  He got married, and then, for some reason, they didn’t want to have anything to do with his family.  Still don’t, and no one seems to know why. 

She said, “You know, I had never really thought much about the importance of who your children marry.  I just assumed they would get married and I would have little grandchildren around to spoil.  But now I never see my son’s children.  I wish I would have done this when they were growing up, but now I’m telling you…pray for your children’s future spouse.”

I told her that I have been, even since my kids were born.  For me it goes back to a song by Wayne Watson, where he was praying for his son’s future bride.  The lyrics go something like this:

“And I don’t even know her name, but I’m praying for her just the same.”

And then the end of the chorus says, “ ‘Cause somewhere in the course of this life, my little boy’s gonna need a godly wife.  So hold onto Jesus, baby, where ever you are.”

This weekend I read “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley.  It describes a future civilization where children are brainwashed into thinking unfaithfulness is normal.  They are never taught about a faithful marriage partnership.  Then one day an outsider enters their futuristic world, and they call him a savage.  Well, the savage believes that one man and one woman should be married, and “until death do they part.”  He falls in love with one of the futuristic women, and then is shattered when he discovers her unfaithfulness. 

But how could it have been any different?  They were raised in two different worlds. 

Now think about your children, and the importance of who they marry.  This decision is more important than their education or their career.  What are you doing to prepare them for this decision? 

I had a women tell me one time about her younger, dating years.  She said that one young man asked her out, but then asked her a strange question.  He asked if her parents were divorced.  He said that he didn’t even want to begin dating anyone whose parents were divorced because he didn’t want to marry someone who thought that divorce might be an option.

What kind of family will your children marry into?  It will affect your grandchildren and great-grandchildren for generations to come. 

One thing is for certain.  We can take the advice of my friend who offered this personal admonition:

“Pray for your children’s future spouse.”

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

 

Decay Underneath the Filling

It was a shot of pain my mouth.

I was eating frozen strawberries and, wow, you might as well have hit me with a hammer.

That had never happened before.  I’ve heard of people whose teeth were sensitive, but this was crazy.  It was like a brain-freeze with a side of punch-in-the-mouth.

Then it was gone.  But over the next couple of days it got worse.  By Wednesday night I couldn’t even drink lukewarm water without a shot of pain.  So Thursday morning there I stood at the dentist’s counter, trying to look pathetic so they would squeeze me in.

Finally I was in the chair of doom.  “Ah,” he said, looking at fresh X-rays, “There is decay underneath the filling.  What do you want us to do?”

“What do I want you to do?  Well, I’m in pain, so FIX IT!”

Of course you know they can’t really “fix it.”  There’s no fixing decay, there’s only getting rid of it.

So he fired up his tools, ground off my tooth, ground out the filling, and drilled off every bit of decay.  The decay was gone, but so was my tooth!

See, there’s no fixing it.  It has to be made new.  And soon I will be wearing a shiny new crown.

Now let’s go back to what the dentist said.  “Ah,” he said, “there is decay underneath the filling.”

I think that is a great description of what happens in our lives.  We grow up and behave like responsible adults.  We get our act together and become (at least reasonably) socially acceptable.  We work and have a nice home and everything looks good.

“Looks” good. 

About like my tooth.  My tooth looked fine.  What I didn’t know is that down under a perfectly good looking filling, was decay. 

And this is what happens in our lives.  The outside looks good, but inside there is decay.  Usually we don’t do anything about it.  We don’t even realize it’s there, until one of two things happens.

First, you can wait like I did, wait until the decay finally causes you pain.  If you allow decay in your life, even if no one sees it, eventually it will rot your soul to the point of excruciating pain.  Trust me, waiting until it hurts is not the best way.

The best way is to have an X-ray find the decay before it causes pain. 

The decay I’m talking about is moral decay.  If you allow moral decay in your life, it’s going to hurt.

So what is the X-ray for moral decay?  How can we see deep down inside ourselves?

Start with this self exam found in Psalm 4:4.  When you are on your bed, search your heart and be silent.

God has created each one of us with a conscience.  That little voice is easily drowned out in the hustle and bustle of the day.  But at night, when all is dark and quiet, listen to that little voice.  It will point out any moral decay.

As a side note, let me say this.  Please don’t go to sleep with the television on.  I think that is a bad habit, and it drowns out that still small voice even to the very last second of your waking day. 

“Maybe I want to drown it out,” you say.  Fine, but the decay will keep decaying to the point of pain.  Is that what you want?

In addition to your self exam for moral decay, pray this little prayer found in Psalm 139:23 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart...”

This is like going to the dentist for an X-ray.  When you open up your soul to be tested by God, He will show you any moral decay.

Now here’s the thing.  He shows you, you realize it’s true, you see the moral decay, but then what?  How can it be fixed? 

You know, I definitely didn’t want to go the dentist.  I don’t like the dentist.  I don’t like giving him money.  I don’t like anything about it…except I do want good teeth.  So all I could do was tell the dentist, “Fix it!” then surrender to his expertise.

The same when God shows you any moral decay in your life.  All you can do is say, “Please fix it,” then surrender His expertise. 

My dental assistant told me I would get a “permanent crown.”  I said, “Permanent?”  She said, “Well, as long as you do what you’re supposed to.”

It’s the same with God.  He will point out our moral decay, and He will fix it.  But we can’t sit back and do nothing.  We need to follow His instructions, and do what we are supposed to do.

So don’t wait for the pain to kick in.  Open yourself up to God, and let Him show you any areas of moral decay.  And when He does, make the decision now, “I will do whatever He tells me to do.”

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

*Prickly*

My daughter told me this story.  She said she was in heavy traffic, stuck behind a great big pickup truck, “…from Georgia…” she said, like it meant something. 

She said the traffic was bumper to bumper and barely moving, and the pickup kept swerving back and forth, and the driver appeared to be angrily trying to see “what in the world is going on up there?!”

Ah, yes.  There’s nothing like city traffic to bring out the best in all of us.  And pretty soon we’re even categorizing people by the state they’re from.

Think about it.  Why did she say what state they were from?  And it really didn’t matter if it was a pickup from Georgia or a Jaguar from New York. 

Now let’s practice thinking deeply about why we do what we do.

First of all, if she had been in a smooth flow of traffic, she wouldn’t have cared.  But because she was in this tense traffic situation herself, she was probably a little on edge, a little *prickly* to begin with. 

And as soon as we get even the least bit *prickly* - we start looking for someone to blame or criticize. 

Now stay with me.  Can you see the connection?  This is at the core of why we do what we do.  It sets off a chain reaction, and it all starts with *prickly.*

It’s a funny word, I know, but let’s keep going.

She’s in heavy traffic, and starts to feel *prickly* because of it.  Then the - now this is my word, not hers - then the “idiot” in front of her starts swerving. 

Now think - this guy had absolutely nothing to do with the heavy traffic, which was the cause of her *prickliness.*  But now he has caught her attention.  He will now become her target. 

She is *prickly,* and this condition leads you to find someone to *prickle.*  And it’s usually the first person that grabs your attention that is different from you!

Here is another scenario:  You come to work, and something has made you *prickly.*  Now it is human nature, in this condition you must find someone to *prickle.*  And it’s probably going to be the first person that grabs your attention that is different from you.  Let’s say you are a woman, and there is this other woman at work that dresses in a way that, “Why on earth does she dress like that?!  Good heavens, she looks like a fruit basket!”

Now come on, you know it happens.  And you may never mention it, and probably don’t even really care what she wears.  But today you’re feeling *prickly* and so out it comes….boom…you say something snotty.  She says something snotty back, and now you’ve started a cat fight.

How did you end up there? 

In the Bible, James 1:19 says, “Take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” 

I think one key to avoiding angry situations like this is to listen, to listen for the little scratchings in our soul that indicate the presence of little *prickles.*  As soon you notice, say a little prayer.  Surrender your irritation to God and ask for peace in its place. 

Just think how much better the world will be as we all become a little less *prickly.*

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM.)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

I Am Watching You

I am watching you.  I notice how you take care of your home.  I see how you treat people there.  I even saw you that day you had a little talk with the garbage man.

I am your neighbor, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, but you don’t know me.  I visited your church a couple times, and your face stood out to me, so now I recognize you.  At the church I saw you worshipping God.  Now how will you behave when you come here?  I wonder. 

I am a nameless store worker, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, though I mostly just hear things through the family grape vine.  And let me tell you, I am listening closely.  No, I don’t believe everything I hear, but I am paying attention.  Will you turn out to be the kind of person you say you are?

I am a distant family member, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, and I’m sure you know it.  I see you on your best days and your worst days.  I see you when you feel good and when you don’t.  And let me tell you one particular thing.  I always pay special attention to how you handle certain dreaded phone calls.  We all get those calls, but when you get them, you probably don’t realize it, but I am always tuned in to what you say and how you treat them.

I am your coworker, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, and you have no idea, because I don’t even live near you, but I used to.  You might say I’m following you from afar.  You know what I’m checking on?  Your career moves.  How do you make your decisions?  Why do you do what you do?  I am very curious, because we are the same age and I am making similar decisions.  I am looking for someone to sort of follow, to pattern myself after.  You are helping to set a pace for me.

I am your former classmate, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, and I’ve seen you change over time, though I don’t think you’ve even noticed.  You probably aren’t really keeping track, and I’m sure you don’t think I am, but you’re wrong.  I never talk about it, but I am tracking you and the changes I’ve seen in your life over time.  Someday I might talk to you about it, but right now I’m just curiously watching the direction your life is taking.

I am your close friend, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, and I’ve seen you come a long way.  There have been a lot of childish mistakes and you’ve matured up to a certain level.  But here you are, and I wonder what you are going to do now with your life.  I am older, and you probably don’t think your decisions affect me, but they do.  Though I am your elder, I must say when I see you take a stand and do the right thing, it inspires me to do the same.  Don’t doubt it for a second, what you decide to do has a big impact on me.

I helped raise you, and I am watching you.

I am watching you, even though I was only part of your life for a few months.  I tried to instill knowledge and yes, even some values during our time together.  To be honest, you missed a lot of what I tried to send your way.  But I know that over time these lessons have a funny way of coming back.  What kind of person will you become?  Will all my hard work pay off?

I was your teacher, and I am watching you.

First Timothy 4:12 says, “…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”

We must set a good example in every way, because whether we realize it or not, people are watching.

(As heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com