Friday, March 30, 2007

Stop Stealing From Your Spouse

I almost never dream.

But last night I had not one, but three very vivid dreams.

In the first one I had friends who owned a large ATV dealership.  They showed me a pair of customized “four-wheelers” designed to go together, perfect for some romantic couple for Valentine’s Day.

Now these owners trusted me a lot.  I even had keys to their dealership. 

Well I thought of the perfect couple for those romantic four-wheelers.  So I let myself in, hitched them together and drove them off to show this other couple. 

Somehow (you know how dreams are) the four-wheelers got lost.  We couldn’t find them anywhere.  I thought, “How can I face my friends?  They trusted me completely, and I was just trying to help, but look what I’ve done.”

Then immediately came my second dream.

It was halftime at a college basketball game.  The band was playing, and I was out in the hall.  A band from another school, all dressed up, came down the hall.  They said they wanted to hear the band that was playing, and wanted to know if it was okay if they went in and watched.  I said, “Sure, why not?”

I held the door while they funneled in.  Then to my horror they started playing, blasting their horns louder than the actual halftime band.  The halftime show was ruined, and I was to blame.

Then came my third dream.

I was alone in a friend’s garage.  He was restoring a really old pickup.  I got in, and immediately the truck began to roll.  I hit the brakes, but they weren’t hooked up.  I jumped out and got it to stop, but not before it bumped into a work bench, putting a big dent in the hood.

I woke up, and it was all so vivid I prayed, “Lord, is this just nonsense, or is there something to it?”

Immediately I thought of the person who told me recently about an “emotional affair,” and I thought of this phrase, “Stop stealing from your spouse.”

What do my dreams have to do with stealing from your spouse?

Your spouse has put their trust in you.  You probably share houses and cars and bank accounts.  They sacrificed all future romantic possibilities just to be with you.  They have put all their eggs in your basket.

Like my friends who owned the dealership.  They trusted me completely, even with the keys to their business.  I didn’t mean to steal from them, but that’s what I did.  I took what belonged to them and lost it.

Your heart and emotional energy belong to your spouse.  They are trusting you.  If you are giving your emotional energy to someone else, you have stolen from them, even if you didn’t mean to.

In my second dream, I gave that band permission to go where they did not belong.  I thought it was no big deal, but I was wrong.  As soon as I opened that door, the situation was out of my control. 

In an emotional affair, you let someone go where they do not belong, into your heart.    You think you have it under control, but you do not.  That band will begin blasting so loud it will ruin what the rightful band is playing.  What seemed so innocent, even helpful at the beginning, will turn into an obnoxious, discordant mess. 

In my third dream, no one knew I was in that garage.  No one knew I slipped into my friend’s old truck.  But what I didn’t know was that once it began rolling, I couldn’t stop it. 

Maybe you are having an emotional affair, and no one knows.  Your secret is safe, and you can stop it anytime you want.  My friend, you have been deceived.  Those brakes don’t work.  Once an emotional affair gets rolling, it’s hard to stop.  And here is one thing you can bet on, there will be damage.

This may not sound like a nice, romantic story.  But for someone, it will be the best thing you can do for your spouse.  Sure, you may not be involved physically, but if you are giving your emotional energy to someone else, then stop it.  Make it a gift.  Decide today to stop stealing from your spouse.

(as heard on Wave 94.1 FM)

dougapple@wave94.com

www.wave94.com

 

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