Who Do You Love?

“I can’t wait to retire,” she said.

“What are you going to do then?” I asked.

“I’m gonna move way out in the country, where I can be near God’s creation.”

“ And away from people…” I added for her.

“Yes, away from all these crazy people,” she said.

“But people are the CROWN of God’s creation!” I said. “If you want to be near God’s creation, you need to surround yourself with people, then love them like God loves them.”

We get so busy with our duties that we forget our supreme duty - to love people.

One time I was driving home from church with my teenage son. You know how sometimes you have to pry things out of your teenagers? In this case I pried it out, then wished I could put it back!

So we’re driving along in the dark, and my son suddenly says, “When I move out, the first thing I’m going to do is get my lip pierced.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” I said.

“Just over on the side,” he said, as if that would make me feel better.

Then he said, “Well, what would you do if I did that?”

I said, “First of all, I would still love you. I will love you no matter what.”

Jesus calls us to love everyone. But being finite, I can’t really get to everyone in order to love them, so I made up this priority list about who to love first.

It starts with my wife. If you are married, there is only one person you are “one” with. So at the top of your “love list” must be your spouse.

If you are married with children, remember your spouse comes before the children, even though the children can be more demanding and time consuming. The children need to move out and move on someday, but you are “one” with your spouse - ’til death do you part. Make sure your husband or wife is at the top of your love list everyday. Have you done something special for your spouse lately? This would be an excellent time.

Second on my love list is my children, especially while they are growing up. Of all the people on the planet, I am most responsible for my own kids. Our pastor reminded us recently that we are to be our kid’s parents, not their best friends. Yes, sometimes you just have fun with your children, like a friend would. But other times you have to lay down the law. When they are toddlers, you may have to exert authority to keep them from hurting themselves. And that holds true until they grow up and move out. But it’s always done with love as the motivation.

So, you love your spouse first, and your children second.

Now, what if you don’t have a spouse or children, or if you do, who is next on your priority list of whom to love? Your parents. The Bible offers specific instructions about how we are to treat our parents. They must be high on our love list. Then come other family members, including siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, even in-laws.

And after our family members, for Christians the call is clear. We are to love our fellow believers.* Then after that we are simply called to love our “neighbor,” meaning anyone we happen to encounter on any given day.**

So here is my priority list again:

First is my spouse, then my children. Next are my parents, followed by other family members. Then come my bothers and sisters in Christ. And finally just loving anyone God brings into my life today.

I know dealing with people can be the most aggravating and irritating part of the day. That’s why we need to work on it, and keep our priorities straight.

“But wait a minute, Doug. You didn’t mention friends.”

Yes, we should love our friends, obviously. But I compare that to making sure you eat your favorite food. You don’t have to make a point to do it.

So take a look at your schedule. How do you spend your time? Who is getting your emotional energy and resources? Ask yourself the tough question, “Am I doing what I need to do to love the people I’m supposed to be loving?

Comments? E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.

* Galatians 6:10 “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
** Luke 10