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Apples of Gold
Radio Script for June 24, 2009
“My Dentist Is Doing Something New”
Hello, I’m Doug Apple…with Apples of Gold.
My dentist is doing something new.
He did it yesterday, and he did it the last time I went.
It surprised me, really, but it was very effective.
I mean, there he is, revving up his little machines of torture. He reaches for one of those hand tools and I’m sure I hear a shiiinnggg, like a Japanese warrior drawing a sword.
He says, “Now you’re going to feel a little…” Too late. A jolt of pain causes my knee to jerk up.
Honestly, in real life if someone did this to you, you would bop them upside the head.
But this is different. You are paying for this. But you still feel like someone needs to be bopped.
And now comes the amazing part, the moral of the story.
He knows he hurt me, and he says, “Sorry about that.”
Well let me tell you, it worked like a charm. I relaxed. The anger drained away. Oh it still hurt, but he acknowledged it, and said he was sorry about it.
I don’t remember him saying that in the past, but the last couple of times he has, and it works.
So advice to all you dentists out there. When you hurt someone, just say you’re sorry. It lets us know that you know and that you care.
Now you might say, “Well Doug, I’m a dentist, and I’m not sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry that I hurt you because sometimes that’s just what it takes to get the job done, and I’m certainly not sorry about doing my job.”
Well look at it this way. You are trying to reach a goal, and a simple, heartfelt “I’m sorry” will get you there.
Saying “I’m sorry” causes people to relax. They settle down. The tension drains.
See, before that, there is a wall going up. It’s you against me. You are on that side and I am on this side. There is discomfort. There is pain. There is unhappiness.
But as soon as someone says they are sorry (and I mean a real “I’m sorry,” not a spiteful “Well I’m sorry then!”) – as soon as they say it, the wall starts to go down.
And that’s the goal – to stop the escalation, to stop the brewing hostility.
From a biblical perspective we would say it this way: the goal is to make peace.
Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”
Saying “I’m sorry” is a great tool for making peace.
As newlyweds, let’s say my wife wanted me to take out the trash and I didn’t. By the next day it would smell up the kitchen, and this would annoy her. And she would let me know in no uncertain terms.
Well back then I was prone to pepper her with all the great reasons why I didn’t do it. And I might have lectured her for not taking it out herself. After all, I married a fit young woman, what’s the problem?
Well you can see how that might throw up a little wall between us. And that’s exactly how it happens. I’m telling you, marriages have been destroyed over just such little things.
But since those early days I have learned the power of saying I’m sorry.
I am sorry. I am sorry because I should have taken out the trash. I’m sorry because the kitchen stinks. I am sorry she’s upset. I am sorry about the stress. So instead of justifying my actions, I just say, “I’m sorry.” And I am.
I first saw the power of saying I’m sorry by observing a former co-worker. He was not a man of details, and it drove the boss crazy. But guess what? He was always sorry.
The boss would try to rail on him, but he would just stand there and say, “I’m sorry.”
What can you say to that?
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath…”
And it’s hard to find a more gentle answer than “I’m sorry.”
A good way to feel that sorrow is by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Something upset them. Something hurt them. You may not think it’s justified, but put yourself in their shoes, not as yourself but as them.
Then you can feel their pain, and that makes it easier to say “I’m sorry.”
My old co-worker kept his job a lot longer than he would have, simply by his liberal use of the phrase, “I’m sorry.”
James 3:18 says we are to “sow in peace.”
First Peter 3:11 says “…seek peace and pursue it…”
And when it comes to making peace with someone, try this and you’ll see how effective it is.
It’s just a humble, genuine use of the phrase, “I’m sorry.”
Comments?
E-mail me: dougapple@wave94.com.
May God bless you today! With Apples of Gold…I’m Doug Apple.
© 2009 The Arrow’s Tip
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(Proverbs 25:11 – “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”)
Why “The Arrow’s Tip”? Each morning, after diligently seeking the Lord, I write Apples of Gold. Then before I release it to the public I pray one final prayer, “Lord, send forth your arrows.” I envision Apples of Gold as arrows, tips dipped in the river of the water of life that flows from the throne of God (Rev. 22:1), sailing toward the hearts and minds of men and women around the world.
Doug Apple
General Manager - Wave 94
Christian Radio for Tallahassee
PO Box 4105
Tallahassee, FL 32315
(850) 926-8000
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